My Funky Dinosaur Blog

Being a cyclist around uni...

2011-06-21T06:56:00.000-07:00

...is not an easy thing at all. I can personally testify to that.

It's been A LOOONGGGG TIME since I have taken to this blog and vented out some oh-so-significant issues, I almost forgotten it's existence. But now exams have come up, and there are many things I should be doing, which technically means there are more reasons to procrastinate, so here I am.

Anyway, back to the topic. First and foremost, I will address both the advantages and disadvantages of being a cyclist around St Lucia.

Advantages:

1. As a person with a relatively high metabolism weight, this form of exercise is perfect for me. A couple of slopes a day cycling to and from uni is sufficient to keep me in shape. I actually regained my abs by just doing this!

2. This mode of transport, is free for my pocket and also environmentally friendly. I've been doing an environmental management course this semester and I have to say, it was one of the most inspiring subjects I have ever done. I'm no environmentalist but I love a good argument where I actually know what I'm talking about in class. I should have done the ENVM degree :((( a bit too late now.

3. It saves HEAPS of time. If you're waiting for a friend to pick you up, or waiting for the bus, I can guarantee you that cycling around is way faster. Also, it is so flexible. I can go uni at insane hours of the night and back without having to worry about the last bus. Although, I don't really want to go uni at "insane hours of the night/morning".

Disadvantages:

1. You can't carry a crapload of stuff on the bike. Which is, in a way, a good thing for me, considering I always look like I'm migrating when I go places. And when I cycle to Coles to grocery shop, it does take some thought as to what I'm buying. Can't really buy stuff that will squish easily. Or fruit juice. Try cycling around St Lucia with a litre of fruit juice on your back and other what-nots and you'll suffer. I made that mistake once and I can say fruit juice is NOT healthy in anyway whatsoever, esp if you're carrying it around. On two wheels.
[Reminds me of a joke Skasian keeps saying: Why can't the bicycle go up the hill?? Because it is TWO-tyred!!]

2. St Lucia is an incredibly hilly place. Or Brisbane in general. I never cycle around Indooroopilly (esp at the roundabout at Sizzling Mongolian). It is absolutely insane. One of the worst hills to cycle up would be Carmody Road. THREE hills in a row. I tried that once, I only made my way through half that stupid hill. The only good thing about slopes is when you're going downwards.

3. You get abused. By both motorists and pedestrians. Try cycling on the road, and they shout at you out of the window "GTFO the road and GET ON THE PAVEMENT!!!". So I took their wise advice and got off the road and got on the pavement. Then the pedestrians start saying "GTFO the pavement and GET ON THE ROAD!!!". People, I do realize that there is a bikeway around St Lucia, but do you know how much more time it takes to cycle??? Especially when I'm rushing to get my assignments handed in, I don't really appreciate taking the specially made bikepath. It is for overweight people to exercise/really fit cyclists to train. Not for uni students rushing to meet the time deadline.

What people also don't realize is, cyclists are allowed BOTH on the pavement and the road (unless otherwise specified). When you're holding traffic up, it is a wise thing to go on the pavement. Screw the pedestrians, they can die of liver cancer or heart disease or testicular tumors.

Tom the Possum

2010-08-09T08:46:00.000-07:00

Last night, while Skasian and I were driving back from EMC, we saw a dead possum lying by the side of the road and there was another possum jumping about it, looking very distressed. It ran behind the tree when our car came past it. In case you didn't know animals had emotions, here's a good video to watch:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WlFJWfXtjG8

I bet you are feeling really sad now after watching that poor thing. I felt that way when I saw the possum, and to make things worse I created this whole new story in my mind...which went something like this:

One night, Hubby Possum and Wifey Possum were having dinner in the tree. After dinner, it was time to clear up and Hubby Possum took the garbage out. However, just that morning, the rubbish truck people had moved the bin from the usual place to the middle of the road, so Hubby Possum had to go out to throw the garbage. Unfortunately, there was a taxi full of drunk Kingsmen hurrying to get home and pass out. So it swerved around the corner and BOOM Hubby Possum was smack in the middle of the road, got hit and died tragically on the spot.

I went on to think things like the Wife thinking, "There was the last fruit hanging on the tree, and both Hubby and I wanted it, and he gave it to me...Now he will never eat fruit again..."

....and both of us were feeling REALLY sad after I said that out loud. To cheer us both up, Shaun came out with a better version of the story.

Vivien Possum and Tom Possum were up the tree. Tom Possum tried to hit on Vivien Possum, and seeing a taxi full of drunk Kingsmen, Vivien Possum pushed Tom Possum out of the tree and he got ran over. Seeing that he really was dead, Vivien Possum was jumping about for joy and hid behind the tree when Shaun's car passed by because she didn't want to be convicted of possumslaughter.

That made us feel so much better after that.

The Hidden Truth about Egg Tarts

2010-07-29T09:58:00.000-07:00

Last night, I went completely off my rocker and decided to try my hand at making egg tarts for the first time. Now readers, bear in mind that I have made the most 4 cakes (2 of which didn't require oven baking) and NEVER made any sort of pastry in my entire life. I didn't see how deciding to make the cake while Amanda was asleep was going to be a real challenge for me. FYI, Amanda is like my cooking 911 number - she makes AMAZING things.

Sample of 1 of the few cakes I made:

PACMAN CAKE heheh

Now, if you are a true woman you can read this and laugh your head off when no one is looking because if you did while people were around you'd look very un-ladylike. If you are a man inside, like me (btw I mean I have the soul of a man and I am NOT a hemaphrodite - and neither is Lady Gaga in case you guys didn't know), then this article is for you.

While cook books are usually quite good for dummies, they sometimes overlook the dumber dummies like me. I am sharing my errors with you and you'd better not repeat it because I already warned you.

So I started off the day by looking for the ingredients. There were no Pandan leaves available anywhere in this continent called Australia so Amanda and I decided on the 2nd best - Pandan essence instead. We already had flour, cornflour, eggs, sugar and other things and I had to walk out at night because I needed evaporated milk and we didn't have any.

So I looked at my ingredients and the instructions...(Credits to my "Kai Ma" Aunty Karen who made this recipe, and this is off the top of my head so I can't remember if it's accurate or not)

1. Tart pastry:
250g of butter
400g of plain flour (I almost thought self-raising flour is the same thing as plain flour, but it's NOT)
2tbsp of cornflour
1 egg

2. Filling:
4 large eggs (do NOT beat!!!)
250g of water
200g of sugar
Pandan Essence

So yea, I sat down to do the pastry first. I mixed the plain flour and cornflour up in a mixing bowl and cracked in the egg and I was wondering how to put the butter in, and suddenly it occurred to me that I might have to MELT the butter first. Luckily, I've been through this before, so I melted the butter and put it in.

The cookbook said to knead the dough, so I kneaded the dough. Unfortunately, here came Hidden Trap number 1. Cookbooks don't tell you how to knead dough...They just say knead it. So I just decided to use my common sense and press the dough around. My mistake was I didn't knead the dough hard enough, because no one ever told me that I had to aerate the shortcrust dough before I let it sit. So people, when you are kneading, throw the big ball of dough down hard on the table/board/whatever and press like you are massaging a really fat person. Gather it into a big ball in one swift motion and press again. I forgot there was such thing called YouTube -.-"

So I kneaded the dough and let it sit into little balls and covered it and let it rest for 30 minutes after the torture, just like the cookbook said to do. I thought of a joke I read when I was a kid:

"Why is the Cook cruel??? -- Because he whips the cream and beats the eggs" LOLOLOLOLOLLLLL

After that, I made the filling while waiting for the pastry. Boiled the water, put the sugar in until it melted completely, and then added like a crapload of Pandan essence because the flavor was too weak. Let it cool while I cracked 4 eggs and stirred with a fork. There came Hidden Pitfall Number 2. While the recipe says "DO NOT BEAT THE EGGS", it didn't say that I had to pick out all those gooey chunky parts of the raw egg. While the mixture was mostly smooth, there were raw egg white and yellow bits that refused to be stirred. No one ever told me those things ruined egg tart fillings. So I let them there.

Aha! At last the pastry was done sitting there...I was tired of waiting. So I uncovered the dough and took out the little balls. Hidden Pitfall number 3: if anyone has NOT rolled pastry before, it is possible to not know that you have to flour the board AND the pin before rolling out the pastry. Otherwise, it is going to STICK LIKE UHU GLUE and ruin the whole pastry. And while the cookbook did tell me to cover the board lightly with flour, no one ever said to flour the rolling pin. And so the moment I put on the little balls and rolled it out, the whole thing broke because the pastry stuck to the pin. After a few tries, it got frustrating...So I turned to my backup 911...When Amanda is not available, there is always YouTube!!! THAT was when I realized my mistake.

It took me almost 2 and a half hours to roll out all the little balls and put them into the molds. Hidden Pitfall number 4 (see, eggtarts may taste yummy but they are out to get you every way they possibly can): there is no way you can make a pretty egg tart without a proper pastry cutter and lots of practice. Because while you can make a perfect circly cut with a random mug or something, you can't fit it properly into the muffin tray. What you CAN do is sort of stuff the crust in and press it around the edges so make it look a bit more presentable.

Hidden Pitfall number 5 (it just gets better doesn't it): With this recipe, it doesn't pay to make too much of the crust. The filling is the nice sweet tasting part of this dessert, so please people, when you make these kind of egg tarts, make the crust THIN and let the filling do it's job of being the main part of the taste experience. The crust is just there to taunt your tastebuds and highten the enjoyment. You will know what I'm talking about if you make a thick crusted one and a thin crusted one, taste them both hot and you can tell the difference immediately.

So I put the eggtarts in the oven for 180degrees celcius and waited 5 minutes, took it out and covered it with baking paper and let it sit for another 20. I was terrified. The last time I made a cake, the oven looked like this when I took it out no kidding and no exaggeration:

Hidden Pitfall number 6: while the top part of the filling may be cooked and look cooked through, the bottom part may still be watery. If you are not confident with how long your tarts take to set, make a spare tart and then you can poke it and see if it is cooked through.

Finally the egg tarts were done. After almost 4 hours of hard work!!! Insane!!! And because I didn't take the crunky white bits out of the filling, some eggtarts ended up looking more like eggs on toast. FAIL.

But the delightful part came finally. 50% of my egg tarts were successful (although the crust was a bit thick) and ready to eat. Last Hidden Pitfall: not so hidden, unless you are living in denial. Egg tarts are a recipe for obesity.

Oh well, screw all that and eat. I'm sorry for not posting pictures of my own creation but they were all eaten before I could get my camera out. Promise will take a picture of the 2nd batch. IF they are not all gone too.

Jabberwocky Maria

2010-06-02T01:39:00.000-07:00

I just realized I have been very extremely violent of late...Now it's not a very surprising thing that I am violent, but extra violent??? Maybe time to handle with care.

I have been struggling to hold my lid recently and perhaps it is time the exams come and get it over and done with.

The thing is, so many things come and go, and so many things to handle...So many attractive offers and so many annoying people that present themselves to me. I told people to go and stab themselves so many countless times I think I must have killed an entire nation by now.

It made me think of the Red Queen in Alice in Wonderland (Tim Burton's film), which I had really really high expectations of but certain parts disappointed me. I always look forward to watching Tim B's movies. But this time, he failed me slightly (but only slightly)...For example--there wasn't much of a battle between Alice and the Jabberwocky monster. After that, the banishment of the Red Queen wasn't very impressive either. It was distracted by the "Futterwacken" done by the Hatter. The White Queen simply wasn't Anne Hathaway at all...They could have given her a lot less makeup on the lips--they distracted me.

Oh well...Better get back to study. Enough of movie watching! lol...Maybe "gym" watching tonight hahahha...We'll see.

Bored of Studying and Assignmenting...

2010-05-05T03:12:00.000-07:00

Dear Bloggieeeeee,

I decided to write something simply because I felt like it. Skasian is busy with assignments and so am I. No one is around atm (Nut, Zak and Tony went off to play tennis and won't be back until later) so basically I am alone and sitting in Nick's room using my own computer. Yes, that's right...My laptop is in Nick's room. Why, you ask? Because that boy crashed his own laptop's internal harddrive and can't survive without DotA for a day, so this is the reason Lil Pinky is sitting on his desk.

I went to see the doctor today, and he was really nice. He checked the sore on my foot and he prescribed some steroids O.O to apply on it. Tomorrow I will have to go medicine shopping. Apek scared me. He thought it was cancer...Also, one look at my foot and the doctor asked if I ran a lot. It must have been horribly cracked =S

Today morning I opened the cupboard to take an empty plastic container and spilled half of amanda's coffee on the floor. It really does seem like I will not stop being a klutz EVER.

I really don't know what is taking the lecturer's so frigging long to mark exam papers and post results. Seriously, they don't even do the marking. The machine does it for them zzzzzzzzzzzzz. I can't wait for my assignment to come back either. I'm being paranoid about it atm...Ehhhhhh...I JUST opened a new tab to check for my results and they are out O.O~~~ Talk about good timing

Anyway, BACK TO WORK!!! Got to stop procrastinating

Sitting in MUSC3720 Lecture...

2010-03-30T20:31:00.000-07:00

...Never being so bored in my entire life. This guy is so passionate about things and he rambles on and we students just go O.O at him. I hate the lectures but the assignments are pretty darn interesting. I wonder why I even bother turning up...I guess its a sense of security I get from being "present" and keeping myself up to date.

I got lucky today because I got another student who wants to learn Mandarin (never have I been so glad in my life that I can speak this fricking language) (and read it too) and that means I get more funds to support my stupidly expensive Australian life. There is absolutely not enough money to buy textbooks, buy GoKads etc. One fricking textbook is going to take me like what, 5 hours of work???? Crazy people!!! Every single fricking thing in Australia is a huge rip-off and its going to take a miracle if I ever stay here.

Anyway, I think I'm going to walk out of the lecture right now because this guys is seriously raving mad. I think I wna start killing him for wasting my precious time and I need to get my assignments done!

Oh what...He was going to go right now???

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

The Monster and The Monster Ball

2010-03-28T04:47:00.000-07:00

I went to see Lady Gaga live in concert (The Monster Ball) yesterday, and at the end of the concert I was lucky enough to be able to watch her cut her birthday cake for her 24th birthday (which Tony had the impudence to share the same birthday with lol)!!! It was an awesome experience: the painting of the shirts which refused to glow; the diet coke cans which never made it into my hair; the tying of the bows and the thunderbolt on my face. She was a great performer and I think she needs a break really soon. We saw a limo leave the venue and were pretty convinced it was her and wanted to tailgate her lol

The monster I had to deal with today was nearly eating me alive. I have to stop doing an "Abrey" and go back to live a normal life. I didn't realize that I cried while I was making up my mind to do it, but my life has got to change. Right now, its a mess with all my plans going askew and my assignments trailing farther behind. Oh well, I guess I just have to be brave and stop relying on people to get me moving.

Colors of the Wind

2010-03-21T22:33:00.000-07:00

It doesn't really matter whether you are good or not--all that matters is that you can drink, party, have big boobs and talk bimbo. Well, that's what I get from this college anyway.

Last sem was amazing with people I knew that all left for good--Hannah, Dream, Anu, Eugenie, Shrav, Nikhil etc. The Edmonds boys moved out together with Lauren, the exchange students all left; Bron and Ally moved out and so did Ayaka and Irene. EMC is not longer the place it was for me. Even Skasian moved out.

See the thing is, like with Ryan and co, there is nothing called skin color or accent or nationality etc. They accept you for who you are, even if you are as dirty as Robin (no offence Robin but you are incredibly messy) (and there will be no mention of jellyfish in this post I promise) or you drink as much as Nut. No, there is no such thing called discrimination. And you can be yourself. You don't have to pretend to be someone else so that you can fit in.

But with other people here, they treat you like you're non existent. You try to talk to them and they make you feel like a worm. Not all people do that (the girls opposite my room Jess and Cara are awesome) but there are some people who really can't see past all the pigments in the skin.

The problem with living in a rich college is that some people tend to look down on you because you're different to them. I don't think that will even happen in IH--I sometimes wish I'd gone there. You're not given a chance to do anything, try anything, say anything without getting looked at like you're weird...and you're not even saying anything very different to what other people are saying. You're only speaking with a different accent.

But well, that's how the world works. Sometimes you don't have a choice. You can be as normal as you can be, with people thinking OMG that girl is weird.

Another 10 Things You Didn't Know About Me

2010-01-25T09:40:00.000-08:00

I went through my blog posts just now and I realized that I started off 2009 with a post of "10 things you didn't know about me "

So I'm gonna do another one!!! Here's another 10 things you didn't know about me...

Number One:

I quit piano lessons at grade 4 because I hated the piano so much I couldn't stand it...And then came back in 2 weeks. zzzzzzzzzzzz (Zak's version of this word) UN-believable.

Number Two:

When I was younger, I had a huge crush on Jay Chou (LOL!)

Number Three:

On my first day of kindergarten, I didn't know how to speak/understand a word of Mandarin. The next day I got caned in front of the whole school during assembly for not doing my homework because I didn't understand the teacher when she said "please go home and do page 1, 2 and 3 etc etc"

Number Four:

My first "boyfriend" and I dated for a day when I was 7 years old. He bought me a sweet and I drew a picture for him awwwww hahahaha!!! Those childhood days...

Number Five:

Sometimes in the morning Mom finds me sleeping in a kneeling position (exactly like this) like I'm praying to something....

Number Six:

I was experimenting with Mom's perfumes (one of her students bought it for her) when I was nine, and I spilt 3/4 of the bottle!!! Holy crap and it was REALLY expensive perfume too!!! I got into trouble after that...And a decade later, the remaining perfume belongs to me XD XD XD I'm still using it.

Number Seven:

I like to eat fish eyeballs and fish brains (I can hear people going ewwwww)

Number Eight:

Once when I was very young, I wanted to marry an "ang-moh" guy from US when I grew up, so every night before I slept I practiced speaking American English LOL!

Number Nine:

I was out cycling once with mom and bro, and a bird pooped right on my head. Talk about bad luck.

Number Ten:

Coraline is currently my fav movie!

Another one of those dreams...

2010-01-18T02:27:00.000-08:00

There was an organism, and that organism had not come into being. To be able to achieve a real shape and form, it targeted the imagination of the human mind. If the human mind successfully created an image of it, it would slowly absorb the material in or around the human body (its host) to create its solid form. (This part didn't make sense, but it happened anyway) To be able to reach the human body, a vector was needed, which was usually houseflies because they were resilient creatures and able to land on a human and also fly away very fast.

My mind, being a very imaginative mind, was named target. Lots of unnaturally huge and aggressive flies came zooming around me, and I dreamt that me and brother stood back to back and killed them. Unfortunately, brother got attacked by some other insect (who also happened to be a vector--they don't just take flies) and fainted completely, leaving me to fend for myself. In the process, however, a fly did successfully land somehow on me and I tried to shut my mind up. But the moment I did, my body started to have strange symptoms and do strange things. Eventually, the creature took shape in my mind as a woman made of sand and started taking up material from my body.

I started seeing black things ooze out from the toes of my left foot (between the toe and the nail) and the moment it emerged brother (who had recovered) and I yanked the goo out and smashed it as hard as we could on the floor or throw it somewhere so that it smacked hard (to kill it), and then it would dissolve into sand and blow away. The ooze looked something like this:

Unfortunately, there came a point where the organisms got too much of me and I was not able to fight back, and then the imaginary woman became real. We could not kill her, coz she was sand (duuh), could not get rid of her, and she preyed on every other human being that had an active imagination seeing that I was not usable now.We tried every way possible to get rid of her, and one person even suggested putting crustaceans on her coz those creatures dig holes in the sand. Unfortunately, it didn't work. Worse, after every attack, she turned back on her attackers minds as well. Some people's imaginations were not fit to be used, so they ended up killing themselves or other people as a result of her search for amusement.

Finally, someone said that she was very susceptible to water that was aimed at her with high force, for reasons unbeknown to me. Apparently it hurt a lot, and it broke all the bonds each particle of sand had with each other. So someone lured her to a store with a fire hydrant outside, and then cornered her with hoses. The fireman turned on the hydrant and woooshhh she was gone.

Dad said I could write books just from my dreams...lol. But it was terrifying while it lasted coz it was so real!!

No end to these IRRITATING CREATURES...

2010-01-11T09:30:00.000-08:00

Jumping jellyfish leaps aboard boat

As far as tall tales go, this one's a whopper.

A crew man who decided to do a spot of fishing over the side of a towering bulk carrier off north Queensland has been stung by a tiny Irukandji jellyfish flung skywards from the sea below.

A spray of seawater carried the jellyfish 25 metres up, hitting the man as he stood on the deck and leaving him with a nasty sting.

"This is one of the most fascinating tasks I've worked on," said air crewman Geoff Abrahams, who aided the response of the RACQ CQ Rescue helicopter on Sunday.

"Realistically, what are the chances of being stung by a jellyfish when you are safely on board a bulk carrier 25 metres above the water. It's really incredible."

The helicopter landed on the bulk carrier, Konmax, and flew the man to Mackay Base Hospital, where tests confirmed he'd been stung by the jellyfish.

What the hell...these creatures can't keep their bloody tentacles to themselves!!!!! However, I am comforted knowing one thing...Reason why people know so little about the Irukandji is because they are really difficult to store and hence can't be brought back to be studied (very incredibly fragile)--even if they just hit the side of the containers they are stored in, they smash. This particular little bugger probably killed itself stinging the poor guy. SERVES IT RIGHT.

However, I just changed my mind about saying that I attract bad luck. Whenever I think I'm unlucky now, I shall think about this poor dude here.

Wondering....

2009-12-28T19:34:00.000-08:00

It has been days since I heard about Lizzie's shocking news, and I'm still wondering how it had come about. Life has been so full of both pleasant and unpleasant surprises--choked with them.

I shall say I do not really know what her family (esp Edmund) is going through right now, but I guess it must be very taxing physically and more emotionally. Lizzie was fine just a few days ago!!!

Get well soon, Lizzie...And don't stop fighting. You were always a fighter and I think we all know that--she's never said a word about it but we all know she doesn't ever give up (especially when she tells her brother to eat breadskins for her).

It suddenly hits home that "Don't it always seem to go, that you don't know what you've got till its gone" and I'm hoping very hard that it will not have to "go". I promise I will not ever complain again when you strangle me.

Revenge is Sweet

2009-12-09T20:05:00.000-08:00

I wna thank Zak-eeee for giving me this inspiration to write about something in my bored time. We were talking about Noosa, and he was telling me about BlueBottles that him, Bron and Shrav found in the sea. This inspired a new topic of conversation: JELLYFISH

A couple of years ago, I got stung myself. Hey hey hey, wait, before you guys start telling me not to go into the water, I want to inform you guys that I was barely in the sea. I was standing at the place where the waves wash up to the shore, and even then I got stung. Come on, how long is the beach?? Why do the coordinates have to be so accurate for the jellyfish to WASH UP ON ME....>< >< ><

So anyway, I ended up with welts on my right wrist and both my ankles...That's cause I was standing this way in the water:

That's me at Moreton Bay, didn't have any pictures of me when I was digging around for La-La (clams) in the Penang sea when I got stung. But yea, I was basically standing in that position. And the water was even shallower than what you saw in the picture above...>< How the jellyfish had the good luck to wash up on me, I don't understand.

But anyway, I felt a burning sensation on my wrists and my legs, and at first I thought it was the salt water. After that, it got exceedingly itchy, and I knew something was wrong cause the itch didn't go away and it was starting to hurt as well. And I took my arms out of the water and lo and behold, they looked something like this:

And whatd'ya know...I got stung! Jeezz...

The hotel management sprayed some toilet cleaner on me (cause it contains ammonia) and it was better after that, so I didn't see the doctor (big mistake, I found out later). And after I showered, I went to inspect the creature. Of course it was stranded on the beach, and anyone else would have pitied it or something, but I just felt mad at it. So me and brother took huge sticks and whacked the juice out of it. It was milky white, and to my horror the size of a tea table.

A few days later, the redness went down and everything was alright. And just when I thought it was all well, little boils started appearing the day after that. SOOOOO many little lumps on my skin--the kind of lumps that are filled with water...And they scared me to fits. THEN I decided to see the doctor...And I forgot what happened after that. But they burst one by one, and it took YEARS before the scars would go off. In fact, I still have a tiny fragment of scars today.

OK, I am thankful that at least I got stung in Penang sea, and by common jellyfish, and not in Australia. Because here in Malaysia, although it hurts to get stung and its painful, in Australia if you get stung by the wrong species, it could be fatal. One of the most dreaded jellyfish is the Chironex Fleckeri, known as the Box Jellyfish or (apparently)

Boxfish, Sea Wasp, Fire Medusa, Or Just Stinger

There are more than one article that says the Chironex Fleckeri produces the most deadly venom in the world, in fact. It is so lethal that it can kill a human in a minute!! OMG...Reason why they need such potent venom is because the jellyfish are soft, and they feed on crustaceans. Crustaceans are hard and have sharp shells, so they would hurt the jellyfish if they struggled. That is why the venom has to be so potent to kill the prey instantly. But it seems that the smaller jellyfish are more potent than the larger ones. Reason is because:

In larger jellyfish, the need to kill instantly is not a problem, as the larger jellyfish can use their tentacles (which are stronger and bigger)to hold on to the prey, while the smaller jellyfish (who only injects a more concentrated poison from a small tip of the nematosis, and nowhere esle) cannot do such things, and must kill their victims instantly. By doing so, the small Irukandji can devour its prey instantaneously, and not risk having the prey escape. Indeed, the smallest jellyfish, Irukandji, sleeps, as well as the other jellies, to conserve energy. This seems illogical, but during this time, there are more predators than prey to the Irukandji, and so it is ilogical to try to hunt. Also, during this time, it is necessary to conserve energy, because unlike many other animals, the jellyfish cannot store fat, and so must constantly feed. The Irukandji actually has many tentacles, but they branch out from four main stalks.

So what is this Irukandji?? Wait, before I go into that, let's check out the Box Jellyfish first.

Here are some interesting facts:

1. The jellyfish bell has 4 distinct sides, hence giving it the name "Box"

2. The box jellyfish seem to move towards the shore in calm waters when tide is rising and gather near the mouths of rivers, estuaries and creeks following the rain.

3. Box jellies are highly advanced among jellyfish. They have developed the ability to move rather than just drift, jetting at up to four knots through the water. They also have eyes grouped in clusters of six on the four sides of their bell. Each cluster includes a pair of eyes with a sophisticated lens, retina, iris and cornea, although without a central nervous system, scientists aren’t sure how they process what they see.

4. The season for the Box Jellyfish starts with the onset of the wet across the top of northern Australia, usually around October and lasts until April. Further south along the northern Queensland or northern Western Australia coast the season is usually from November to March.

5. From 1883 to late 2005, the box jellyfish accounted for at least 70 recorded deaths.

Alright, that was a few random facts about the box jellyfish...Now we move on to the Irukandji.

Personally, I've never heard of them before until Zak mentioned them. This is how they look like:

OMG they're TINYYYYYY...How the hell are we supposed to see them???!!!

2 people have died from Irukandji stings:

- 58-year-old British tourist, Richard Jordon, was stung while swimming near Hamilton Island, off the coast of Queensland, in January. He died several days later.

- In April 2002, a 44-year-old American tourist, Robert King, died after a brush with the Irukandji jellyfish off Port Douglas in Queensland.

Wow...

The deadly Irukandji jellyfish is related to the more commonly known box jellyfish, about which visitors to the north Queensland coast are warned.

That's not the worst of it...

A box jellyfish sting results in pain and welts forming immediately. These signs result in first aid being quickly applied and treatment begun which reduces the imminence of death and must have kept the death toll low

A sting by the Irukandji jellyfish, on the other hand, is often felt as nothing more than a painful irritant with a rash akin to that of prickly heat. By the time more serious symptoms appear, it may be too late to save a life.

So what should you do if you do get stung? Or rather, what should people do if you get stung, cause with venom as deadly as this, it is highly likely that you would go into shock and have a cardiac arrest as the venom targets the heart (especially box jellyfish).

"Victims frequently require hospitalization to receive analgesics and sometimes intravenous antihypertensive therapy; alpha-blocking agents such as phentolamine have been used for this purpose. Supraventricular tachycardia and high-intensity transient signals in dilated cardiomyopathy have been reported following Irukandji stings, and it has been suggested that serial echocardiography be performed to monitor the progress of severely affected patients. Analgesia is usually required, and may need to be given intravenously when pain is severe. First aid consists of analgesia then examination and investigation followed by reassurance. The role of vinegar to inactivate undischarged nematocysts remains uncertain, with initial work proving inconclusive."

Waaaaaa....Such a long complicated narration...But put simply, it means when stung, pour lots of vinegar (because it usually helps to remove the jellyfish tentacles from the skin)!!!! And then go to the hospital--don't be like me. (Btw nematocytes simply mean "jellyfish stingers")

For other people, it may be to prevent jellyfish stings:

1. Don't go swimming in jellyfish infested areas (duuh) and don't go swimming when it is jellyfish season. The beach people will put up signs telling you about it.

2. Wear lycra stinger suits...That cover your whole body, although with Irukandji that might not be so effective

3. Swim in the place where jellyfish nets are put out to keep jellyfish away, although again the annoying Irukandji might just slip through (stupid brainless jellyfish!!!!! ANNOYINGGGG)

For someone who attracts as much bad luck as me, my rules should be:

SWIM IN UQ POOL, DON'T EVEN GO NEAR THE WATER IN AUSTRALIA

After my ordeal with the jellyfish, I discovered that there is only one way to take my revenge properly...And that is...

EAT THEM!!!!!!!

(They taste especially good cold, and dipped in soy sauce.)

Will do more research on this interesting creature when free, and when inspired by revenge.

Weird Dreams....

2009-11-29T18:56:00.000-08:00

Last night, I had one of the weirdest dreams possible. It was so random that I really dunno what to say about it -.-"

I dreamt that I was being sent to an old boarding house (really looks almost alike with that picture I put up), with its own pond and mini garden. The reason why was cause I was going to study theology and the Bible.

In that house, there was a whole weird collection of people. There was this young boy who was learning professional archery and he had his hair in a shaolin hairstyle. Then there was this group of people who were doing Bible translations or something like that. We all lived in that same ramshackle boarding house literally "boarding" cause the whole house was made of old creaky wood with faded paint--like those older houses I used to live in.

And then, there was a HUGE croc in the pond. Every once in a while, it would come up to the house to look for a "snack". And by once in a while, I meant like every other hour of the day (boy, that is one hungry croc) and by snack, I meant the inhabitants of the house. Because the house was so old and creaky, we did not have ventilation so we left the doors open and someone would keep watch on the croc. And when people shouted "croc incoming", we would rush to shut the doors and try to KEEP IT SHUT. They were SUCH annoying doors!!!

As it was my first day in that house, I didn't know how annoying those doors were. I volunteered to shut the back door, and this was what I found:

Scary huh...Imagine staring at that...Right at your feet. And those doors, were only lockable by latches at the top and the bottom. The latches were the kind that go between the doors, so to lock them you actually had to leave a gap between the doors first. And there were holes in the door for pity's sake...So I risked having my hand chomped off to lock the door, and they WOULD NOT LOCK. You know how sometimes you have those really dodgy old wooden doors??? You try and try to pull them shut and they just WOULD NOT. So that was what happened. In the end, the croc went into the house and all of us climbed on cupboards to escape out of way. Croc could not find anything to eat, so it left and went back to its pond O.o

At night, more danger came. Apparently mafias used our place as bargaining rooms cause it was so old and dodgy no one would ever suspect there was an illegal meeting there. And mafia being mafia, did not want us anywhere near or they would shoot us if we eavesdropped. So we all scurried away.

Unfortunately, I found out that the mafia were my youngest uncle and 2nd uncle from dad's side...O.O..

That was one of the weirdest dreams EVA

Sleepless Night

2009-11-23T17:52:00.000-08:00

I had some really awful dreams last night--I guess it was a result of our chat about my trip to the coast, and Skasian mentioned that the folks up there had no opinion. The moment he mentioned that, something struck me as very wrong. If they had any opinion, they might have mentioned it, but most likely they must have had in mind something not very nice, and they didn't want to "burst his bubble", so they never told him anything.

I had 2 very awful dreams last night. I dreamt they put me and another girl side by side (it could've been esther but I was not so sure), and then started comparing...And I failed miserably. As a result, I was forbidden to ever contact anyone in the house (Skasian included) or even see them again. They told me to pack up all my luggage (apparently I had not flown off back home yet) and leave the place immediately. I was told to delete my contacts off Facebook etc, and even get rid of the numbers in my mobile.

The 2nd dream was far worse. I dreamt that I was supposed to meet all of them at the coast for a grand occasion, and was not given any prior notice until half an hour before the event started. I was not even dressed properly and I dreamt that I was rushing and hurrying and trying to take every single mode of transport available that was the fastest to reach the coast from Brisbane. I did not want to be late cause I had this impression in my mind that they already did not like me (you can see how paranoid I had become) and worst, Skasian phoned to say that if I was late or not dressed appropriately, I better not bother showing up anymore, and I should not even meet him anymore.

Nasty dreams....Yuuuuccccckkkkkkk

Free for the Moment!!!

2009-11-12T23:18:00.000-08:00

I just realized that I have finished my exams!!! It didn't sink in until Eugenie asked me today, how did it feel having finished the finals...

It feels awesome man!!! I am so so so happy!!!

But then again, I could not enjoy myself just yet due to the monthly visit from my best friend...The cramps were so bad that I could not walk yesterday and I almost could not sit up properly. Also, I spent the day trying to catch up on sleep. Having 4 days in a row is certainly not very fun. It is exhausting. I realized how exhausted I was when I was walking in the city today. My knees wobbled and I was really, really tired.

Well, at least this was the most fulfiling semester I've had since I came to Australia. It is fulfilling both cause of the good times and the bad times. I have learnt so very much this sem, and I feel that my life is completely changing. It was nothing I had expected to be.

I gtg sleep now...Paying back my sleep debts

EXAMS....

2009-11-04T15:34:00.000-08:00

I hate them and want them out of my life!!!! Like, RIGHT NOW!!!!!

Sorry for being over-dramatic, people, but it is just so depressing. I have to study day and night for this stupid UQ papers, which, in their compassion, but my exam dates as 9,10,11, and 12. So now I have one paper on the 9th, one on the 10th, one on the 11th and one on the 12th. Oh joy...

I wish no such thing as exams were invented..But then again, without pressure, there would be no developement. We would be still stuck in caves and making fire out of rocks...And wearing leaves or fur.

I gtg back to study...This post is like a random post to procrastinate. Baaahhhh

Blow-up Doll

2009-10-26T18:35:00.000-07:00

Ryan, I am gonna get you for doing that to me...

Last night, Lauren, Lara, Skasian and I were in Ryan's room, and he was showing us Cytherea and her world record. The guys were just whopping, and the girls were trying (hard) to figure out what the guys found were so interesting.

Lauren did not believe that a girl could actually do what Cytherea did, so we were all debating about it and good old wikipedia and google joined in the debate challenge. I shall not attempt to describe what they were debating about.

The subject led to Ryan's 18th birthday present, which was a blow up doll. Skasian, Amanda, Jacq, Kev and a few other people bought it for him, cause you could see their signature on the doll.

It was THE most evil thing I had ever seen. It was freaky!!! I do not even want to take a picture of it cause I could feel its hands like coming to grab me.

And my compassionate Skasian, being the loving tender guy that he is, joined in the fun when Lauren threw the doll right on top of me. I think I scrambled off the bed so fast that no one knew I was already gone. Frankly speaking, I think I woke the whole Edmonds up by the horrified screaming.

In the morning, I got out of the room to see the doll hanging right in front of the door...I swear....I am GONNA KILL YOU, RYAN!!!!

Weird, scary dreams...

2009-10-20T18:39:00.000-07:00

Last night, I remember I had 2 dreams, the first one slightly more disturbing than the other one.

The first one was, there was a small sized girl park her motorcycle outside my house in Seremban. She had an short hair, like an afro, and she looked a bit African I think. And then, she just came towards my mom and the door of my open house. Somehow, all of us (me, my brother and mom) knew that she was being possessed by demons or a demon. And then we ran into the house and shut the door, and locked it. But I remember, I had to go for tuition at that time, so we were trying hard to get out of the house, but we could not get out because she was just waiting there for a victim to attack.

And then, we tried to get out by the side of the house, cause the side garage was separated from the front porch and the car was there. To our horror, my mom went out and saw her staring at us from the roof. She was lying on the roof and peering at us upside down, kinda you know how spiders dangle from the ceiling.

So we had no choice but to run inside the house again and bolt every single door, lock everything so that she would not come in. And I remember calling 000 saying, "Please get rid of this girl, she is possessed and is scaring us to fits, and bring like 7 to 8 guys just to be safe cause she could be very strong and violent." Cause someone got possessed in INTI and it took 6 guys to hold her down and she was still strong. And suddenly, the demon left her, and she just walked out normally to the motorcycle and talked normally, and then she rode off....I wasn't even sure what had happened. That happened when the cops arrived. I think they were more relieved than anything.

Anyway, the 2nd dream was, I was supposed to go and play badminton in a tournament, and then I was busy bandaging up my injured finger. I played a few trial runs with some people, but it wasn't the actual tournament yet. And then, I went back to the road to get something (water, I think) and then I saw Alex Carrette there. Which was weird enough. Suddenly, he took like a really sharp pair of scissors and ran towards me and pinned me to the ground. And he said I owed him something, or I offended him, or something I did wrong towards him, and he was going to kill me...

This was getting weird enough, and then suddenly he dropped the scissors and then he fell and apologized. But I was genuinely scared and trying to brace myself for the stab he was going to make. Why are my dreams full of possessed people...

I'm learning to breathe...

2009-10-15T16:06:00.000-07:00

I'm learning to crawl yet again. I'm finding that You and You ALONE can break my fall.

For the first time in weeks, I came to my senses and realized that I was living a totally new life and something I was not used to, and I still felt really numb living it although I have lived it for quite some time since the mid sem break.

I know something feels like its not right--and that's because I had been drifting away further and further from God, and I forgot to keep a relationship with Him. Now, the things that never used to scare me, now get to me.

God, please give me another chance to try and pull back this relationship together. And give me the grace to succeed.

Living for Today and only for Now

2009-10-06T16:03:00.000-07:00

"Quit, don't quit; Noodle, don't noodle...You are too concerned with what was, and what will be.

There is a saying: Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift.

That is why it is called the present."

I have never done this before in my entire life. I was always the planner, always worrying about
things that was to come, so much so I forget things of the moment.

And I realize that was what made me so different from other people. I always wondered why I always walk faster than normal people (sure I take smaller steps, but on the way to class with my girlfriends, I usually end up walking a lot faster than all of them without realizing it) and also, I found out why I always can't remember things.

That's because I have never lived for the moment. The only times I actually am present in the present, is when I am on stage. That is probably why when I sing or dance in front of everyone else, everything changes.

Now I am going to try to live for now, and not for later. I wanna know what it is like and how it would feel.

It feels totally strange and new and I am still trying to get accustomed to it (can't blame me, been living for the future and the past for like 19 years of my life) and now I am going to change.

2009-09-28T00:13:00.001-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cuS1cCnG8xc

One of the BEST Les Miserables songs EVER!!! Lea Salonga is the singer...But still, if you want the ultimate, look up Ruthie Henshall with I Dreamed a Dream in the same 10th anniversary performance. Ruthie is UNMATCHED.

And now I'm all alone again
Nowhere to turn, no one to go to.
Without a home, without a friend
without a face to say hello to
But now the night is near
And I can make-believe he's here

Sometimes I walk alone at night
When everybody else is sleeping
I think of him and then I'm happy
With the company I'm keeping
The city goes to bed
And I can live inside my head

On my own
Pretending he's beside me
All alone
I walk with him 'til morning
Without him, I feel his arms around me
And when I lose my way, I close my eyes and he has found me

In the rain
The pavement shines like silver
All the lights are misty in the river
In the darkness, the trees are full of starlight
And all I see is him and me forever and forever

And I know it's only in my mind
That I'm talking to myself and not to him
And although I know that he is blind
Still I say there's a way for us

I love him
But when the night is over
He is gone
The river's just a river
Without him, the world around me changes
The trees are bare and everywhere the streets are full of strangers

I love him
But every day I'm learning
All my life I've only been pretending
Without me, his world will go on turning
The world is full of happiness that I have never known

I love him
I love him
I love him...
But only on my own...

Get a grip, girl!!

2009-09-19T07:27:00.000-07:00

These few days, I feel like my whole system is running haywire. There are times when I even doubt myself, think about my decisions and suddenly feel that the things that are supposed to be right are not, and the things that are wrong suddenly seems so right.

I wonder what has happened to me suddenly...

Anyway, I am praying hard to God that He will give me the wisdom and the strength to do the right things, and also have the perseverance to be able to do it. I give up so easily. I know what are the right things to do, but I somehow do not have the will to do it.

I feel so emo these few days, and I keep bothering Nick and Zak about it. Poor guys..But then again, they are probably the only people who can understand what I am going through, maybe aside from Dream.

I really really hope that my life can get back to normal without all these bothersome thoughts coming every single second of my life. It gets sickening sometimes.

The Ways of The World and The Ways of God

2009-09-06T05:16:00.000-07:00

Today, I saw a video about this "dating" website on Yahoo News, and I was shocked.

This website is for married people, who are looking for someone to have an affair with.

And the guy who created this service?? You know what he said???

"This is a service that people sign up to because they truly love and care about their partners and their family but there just are absent (I couldn't catch this part) physical intimacy in their lives....they are really bent on staying in their marriage but NOT when it comes to intimacy."

What bullshit is this???? I can't believe the world is feeding us this absolute rubbish and we are taking it in happily.

Today morning, I was in church and Pastor David (that's the pastor of my church) was talking about Sex and the Bible. He said that sex is made by God. The creator knows everything about the thing He created. God knows where sex is most enjoyed, and when He says DON'T, He has a very good reason why. God has NEVER withheld anything good from us.

Pastor gave an example: his one year old son. He found his son in the bathroom with his shaving razor in his tiny mouth. So instead of trying to wrench the razor out, pastor said, "Parker, give me that razor." And what he saw on his son's face was that "you are trying to take my joy away from me".

We can see it everyday in other people's lives too. For example, you know that this particular guy is a jerk, and you see him hitting on this very nice girl who is one of your friends for example. And the girl responds, no matter how hard you tell her that the guy CLEARLY only wants her for her body, or for glamour, or for money, or whatever.

All she thinks is that, "You are so jealous of me--you want the guy for yourself don't you??"

So it is the same thing with God. When God says, "Give that razor to me," we always think that God is being UN-cool. The worst part is, the danger is very real. When your friend ends up hurt (or losing her pride, which is worse), there's nothing you can do but say "I told you so". And like that helps anyway.

There is a Chinese saying "当局者迷，旁观者清" which means that the person in the situation can't see at all, but the bystander sees so clearly. God happens to be our omnipresent and all-knowing bystander as well (although He is a good many other things), why should we not trust Him--He who created all things???

Pastor David said, "Sex is created by God only for believers who are married to each other."

But as you can see, the world does not live that policy.

There is something much bigger than life...

2009-09-03T06:52:00.000-07:00

...And that is eternal life. I realize that after living 19 years plus of my temporary life here on earth!!!

Frankly speaking, even with the realization, the temptation to live for the world and to become one of its possessions is very real and is very strong. More often than not, I lose self control to become something that is dead, without focus and chasing after the wrong things.

But no matter what things look like here, I know I have an eternal life waiting for me in heaven. Nothing on earth, that I think is important, is really all that important.

For example:
I get very frustrated, pissed and sometimes depressed when things don't go my way, and I have tried everything possible in my power to make it happen. But then I realize, even though it may seem important to me now, and sometimes it can be something as important as finance or studies, they are only means God uses as a training ground to mould that character. Sure, we will not have sin in heaven, but the character will remain. Nothing else does. Not even accomplishments we have on earth.

The Bible describes the church as a "Bride, ready for her husband's coming". And I feel it means literally. Girls, what would you do on your wedding day?? You would make sure EVERYTHING is perfect--you would even get a manicure even though no one in the entire world is going to see your fingernails but yourself (and maybe your husband, if you are lucky enough to get a husband who notices you are wearing a new dress, much less have a new manicure XD).

My point is, the bride does not sit and wait for things to happen. She plans, and she sets out to do those plans as perfectly as she can. Nothing must go wrong, and she is always excited and enthusiastic and she pours out ALL her energies into making that preparation. Also, she is willing to sacrifice her time, money, everything so that the wedding goes well. Most importantly, she tells EVERYONE to come to the wedding and partake of it.

Are our lives like that? Is MY life like that? Am I this excited about waiting for Jesus to come back and take me home, or am I just being a dormant seed?? I should really think about this.

Learning to Breathe...

2009-08-30T07:12:00.000-07:00

I found life back in Toowoomba, with Katie's family and her home and the whole atmosphere. The whole place was filled with peace and love, and I found that I could actually rejuvenate and refresh myself and actually get well there.

There was one thing I learnt. I learnt that I am no more than a slave to sin, bought by the blood and sacrifice and grace of Jesus Christ. But sometimes it is very hard to remember this, especially when I am surrounded by people, and I tend to start judging them. I always think, I am better than so and so and so, and I always have this impression of me.

Of course, it is good to have self-confidence. But when it becomes pride, and you tell yourself that "I know better than God what to do". The tricky part is that we don't consciously say it. But when we do things, it is very clear that we rely on our own strength.

I learnt one more thing: when things don't go your way, God has a better plan for you. And I shall not elaborate, but when you try to force your way through, no good will come out of that and I guarantee this. I have seen it and experienced it.

Laundry Woes

2009-08-05T07:43:00.000-07:00

Just yesterday, we learnt about forgiving and not holding grudges against others.

To let you know, I have a huge problem with anger management. But the good thing is, my tempers are hot and short. They don't usually last long. The main reason why people make me angry is because they either intentionally or unintentionally hurt my pride.

And I forgive people really fast too. I easily trust people and take them for who they seem to be, but now I have learnt to look beyond that after a few hard lessons--still learning btw. Usually, when I hear about people gossiping about another person, I just can't see why at first that the person they are talking about is so hated. Until that person gets at me, then only I see through my rose-colored glasses.

I prefer to think (naively perhaps) that in every person, there is still some good left, and that bit of good should be encouraged out. I don't like to see people lonely, hurt, embarassed or rejected. But more often than not, that spirit of willingness to step into people's lives, gets me in trouble.

I tend to think some people could be happier, so I always try to make sure they make more friends, laugh more often, feel more accepted etc. Because I know, in college the greatest woe to me, is rejection. Friends are very important to me, in fact, they are a huge part of my life, and I would not be happy at all without companionship. I think friends are the best way to gain happiness.

I forgive easily, not because I am naive. I have seen my share of betrayers in this world, have been hurt to the point that I wanted to escape from all this, and that I didn't want to face anyone again. I forgive because I have a very tender heart.

But there are a very select few (I can already hear Nick and Zak laughing in the distance) who are actually great enough to cause me to keep a grudge for extensive periods of time. When I forgive, everything is gone really fast. But beware when I hold a grudge. It can last for years.

First of all, there is Mr. G. Nick IS laughing now, I guarantee. Mr G made me angry (not mad, angry) because he just thinks like, girls are meant to be used, the way they portray the image of women on TV, you know what I mean??? I am a strong believer of women and independence, and the very fact that he thinks this way makes me hate him. I cannot stand to be looked down upon, least of all by HIM. He thinks girls are dirt cheap, or dolls. Any girl would hate this guy.

Then there's a few people in high school who really test my patience (there isn't much of it to test anyway). (See, I am such a prideful person ><). They think that juniors and students are meant to be stepped on. I think EMC tradition of making freshas do weird and often stupid things are really tame compared to my high school. The seniors have absolute power and they don't make juniors do stupid things. They make juniors do cruel and derogatory things. Don't even mention the school teachers and staff. They play with my innocence, and in the end go behind my back and do funny things. Yes, you didn't get me wrong. My teachers backstabbed me. Not my fellow students but my teachers.

Well, this morning I almost felt the same way about the laundry girl. Shan't spill the story here--it isn't good to talk so much about people and I feel quite guilty now. But I hope in the future she doesn't irk me again because then I would have a really tough time forgiving her. Right now she is forgiven, and I'm quite happy again. =)

Gtg sleep!!! Why am I rambling about this at 1 in the morning. I am most vulnerable when I am sleepy, LOL. I tend to start imagining too much things. Gdnite, blogspot!!

Worst Day of My Life

2009-08-03T01:56:00.000-07:00

Was the day before I flew back to Malaysia. Partly bad luck, partly my blur queen fault.

To start the day, it was freezing and raining badly. The wind was blowing and it was winter. The temperature was easily a 10 degrees and I had to walk across the campus (around 20minutes + luggage) with my heavy luggage bag to the CityCat ferry stop.

Upon reaching the stop, I saw the ferry already there. I hurried a little more, and just as I was lifting my bag up the curb, one side of the handle broke. Gah.

Luckily, I was able to manage my bag onto the ferry before it went off. After that, I walked to the SouthBank train station (another 15 minutes of walking) and asked the lady how to get to Coolanggatta. She told me to take the next train that came in 3 minutes. So I took the next train that came in 3 minutes. Lo and behold, I sat on that train for 2 hours and reached the wrong stand. When I asked the station master how to get to Coolanggatta, he told me to take the train back to SouthBank again and sit different train.

The moment I heaved my bag up onto the right train, the other side of the handle broke. Gah.

But at least now I was headed in the right direction--which was a great comfort...I had sat the wrong train all the way until the last station, believe it or not!!!

Finally, after another 2 hours, I reached Robina and took the bus to Coolanggatta. I was going to the airport motel to stay a night, which according to the website, was directly opposite the airport. So I decided to take the shuttle bus to the airport, and then walk across to my motel. Who knew the motel was just a few meters away from my current busstand, so when I was on the bus, I suddenly saw the motel. I asked the busdriver to drop me there, but he could not drop me at places which was not a busstand, so in the end I went all the way to the airport.

FYI, it was still raining and it was evening now, getting dark, and I had to manipulate a heavy luggage bag without a handle.

I asked a cab to take me back to the motel, and the driver apologized and said it was too short a distance. So in the end, I walked back in the pouring rain, with a heavy bag, no lunch, a demoralized spirit and drenched winter coat. Took me 10 minutes to walk to the motel.

And then, after I checked in, I felt SO MUCH BETTER. After a shower, I felt ready to go get some dinner. I spread all my wet things out on the bed, and took my lappie and my passport out when I went out--didn't want to leave them in the motel room unattended when I was going out.

I grabbed a Subway, and then headed to Surfers to check for accomodations. And I didn't know how to get there, so I asked the bus driver to tell me when to get down. She said she would. Who knew she took me all the way to Australia fair!!! And I got down feeling demoralized again.

I went to a shopping complex to ask for directions, but no one was there because it was all closed already. So I walked back out. On my way out, I had to take the escalator. It was broken. And as I was walking, I tripped...And got some really terrible Wolverine Scratches on my right leg, and bruises on my arms.

(this is my left arm...)

(and this is the picture of my right leg. note the bruises)

How much bad luck can hit someone in a day????

As I got out, 2 buses from opposite directions came. I got on the bus nearest to me and asked how I could get to Surfers. Seems I should have gotten on the other bus. As I got out of the wrong bus and was about to go to the right one, the right one left. GAH!!!!

Eventually I got to Surfers and walked until my heels hurt, and lost my way getting back, but a cab driver picked me up for free and set me on the right bus stand. Then I got back to Coolanggatta uneventfully.

That night, it was freezing cold. Even with the heater on, I could not sleep. At 4am in the morning, I got up--that was enough trying to sleep in a 5 degrees room. And as I closed the curtains for the shower, I discovered why it was so cold--the glass sliding doors were wide open. I had shut the grill, but the glass was left open. No wonder it was so cold!!!!

After a weary packing up, I reached the airport. I had saved some money for breakfast, but there was not much left. And lo and behold, the check in counter said my bag was too big and had to be checked-in...So my money for a hearty breakfast was gone...And I had to eat chips instead. Sitting on that 8 hour flight, a near-empty stomach, a dreched sweater and cold temperatures....

You can't call yourself unlucky unless you've had worse than this.

Classes Starting....And I have not enjoyed my holidays enough!!!

2009-07-27T18:30:00.000-07:00

Here are some samples of the yummy food I had when I was back home...

...This gorgeous looking bowl of mouth-watering curry is courtesy of my grandma and grandad--in fact, all of the following dishes are. This is one of her master pieces--"see ham" curry!!!!!!! See if you can spot the sumptuous looking clams in the curry sauce...

...And this is the best ABC soup ever. If you want to know what Chinese soup tastes like and looks like, this is the very best sample ever...Good grief I feel like flying home right now to taste it T.T

Yes, those are eggs with 2 yolks in them--absolutely delicious. After all, the yolks are the ones that give taste to the egg, right?? Egg white has barely any taste...And there was a whole plateful of them!!! This is just one egg on my plate. And if you look carefully to the top left of the picture, can you spot the "petai"??? Absolutely amazing in sambal...

Crapenzzz!!! Cendol and Mata Kucing!!!! Fantastic desserts...I forgot to take picture of the "tau fu fah" huhuhu T.T

Back in Brisbane!!!

2009-07-25T20:23:00.000-07:00

Hey people, I am back with a fresh start and ready to take on challenges once more!! No guarantees that I would not lose heart in this challenge, but at least I won't give up so easily anymore...And I am more confident of myself this time.

I am missing home food and my grandmother's soup--feeling piggy-ish!!! Now the dreadful part about coming back starts...I got to unpack my load of things!!! I think I will throw heaps of my stuff...

Neighbors are back--same people, different new students from US...And Steff is back!! So nice to see her again

Newayz, gtg get back to unpacking!!! Bubi

I definitely have to seek professional help...

2009-06-15T07:33:00.000-07:00

....Because I think I am suffering from depression. Normally, I am the kind that hates to look for help wan. You know la, typical Asian people, want to save money ma, sick also just take a panadol and sleep and the next day will be ok wan. And the amazing thing is, they are really OK. I never met an Aussie who got sick and just ignored it and "took and panadol and sleep"...When we sprain our ankles back home, we get a bandage and tie it up ourselves (or ask some friend to help us) and hobble around right?? Here, spraining an ankle for the Aussies means crutches you know!!! They go look for doctor and even rent crutches. ><

I am that kind of extreme person, who does not want to see doctor unless she is going to die. I know most of you are like that. We always think, no need to make such a big deal out of things, pai seh la...etc etc, but sometimes, it can get very harmful. I didn't know it until recently.

A few years ago, I had bouts of depression, and I thought I was just being emo. Sharing it with friends didn't help, because they always tell me "Don't think so much la" and I was really convinced that I was over-reacting and that I was just being a drama queen.

Last year, I had the same bouts again, and I was really sick of it because I was trying to concentrate on my work, and could not get anything into my head because I was pressuring myself. Duuh, I know how to stop pressuring myself. Just tell myself, its ok, you dun need to get straight A's etc etc...But implementing it is another thing. I bet you guys know, everyone should have experienced this before...Where you try really hard to tell yourself something, and something else that you try to chase away keeps bugging you??

Well, its spiralling out of control now. I told David that yea, I have to swallow my ego and go and see a psychiatrist ASAP. I am struggling to concentrate on my studies, and the depression is literally taking over my life. I can no longer be happy even when I am eating! Which is a really sad thing! But then again, there is nothing to be happy over with our dining hall food XD.

No, the thing is, even playing the piano, and even singing, does not interest me any more. I bet some of you are relieved, no need to hear so much noise. LOL

I sometimes eat non stop, like keep on eating, and sometimes can't eat at all. I sleep too much, and sometimes can't sleep until 4 in the morning. I feel tired all the time and I always feel ashamed of myself, which I have no idea why, looking at it from a rational point of view.

I start to look for friends to occupy my thoughts all the time, so that I will feel better, and I cry almost every night. No, I cry every night to be exact.

I guess I really need to look for help, because if I let this go on, this is really going to ruin my life, my studies, and my relationships with people. The reason why half of my life in INTI was really nasty memories was also because of the culprit: depression.

I am going to fight back! Watch me!

Singing...Lalala

2009-06-11T04:48:00.000-07:00

I just discovered that I can actually sing whistle notes!! Which definitely needs polishing up...But I guess I can do it. LOL

That was so random right...But I discovered it whilst singing in the music room. I was inspired today by watching Jane Zhang's videos on YouTube...(Go and watch if you guys are free...She can REALLY sing) ...The song where she sang "Lovin' You"....The whistle notes...Wow...

So I told myself, I am going to sing whistle notes, if it kills me. Previously, I was trying hard to sing the part of Leona Lewis' "Footprints in the Sand" where she goes whistle (the chorus part where she sings "when you NEED a friend--the caps is that part where she whistle-sings the note)...And today I didn't know how, I finally managed to hit those 2 notes!!! I amaze myself....see so perasanted right.

LOL

Here's pictures of my stage performances...

And this was Christmas presentation when I was 5 or 6, I can't remember..

My first trophy ever, I got first prize for singing when I was in kindergarten (this was when I was 6 yrs old)

This was when I was 9years old, in Jerantut...

Me performing in church (oh, that painful-looking hairstyle) with my Daddy accompanying me on the guitar. My dad is a terrific singer and a very good guitarist (but I don't know why he won't sing something romantic for my Mom--it will take my lifetime to figure that out). He was something like my inspiration.

More performances in church, duet with my brother, and my dad on the guitar again. Look at me huge dino glasses...At that tender age of 10, I already earned the nickname Dino girl, believe it or not.

This was in my sec school...Nobody's home. They used to call me Avril lol.

And this is my earliest singing photo...Look at me happy face!!! ^^

Forever

2009-06-11T02:14:00.000-07:00

(Lyrics)
I know that You can tell
When I start to let my hope fade away
I need to catch myself
Open my ears to hear You calling my name

Been fighting way too long
You had me all along

Sometimes I feel like I am stuck in a rut, not knowing what my life is for, not knowing what I am doing with it, and sometimes I fail to see that God has my life in His Hands, and that everything in my life, He knows what is going on and what is happening.

I forgot that God is not who I think He is, and that I will never be able to understand and fully comprehend the things that He does.

I always blame Him when anything goes wrong, and forget Him when things do go well.

Furthermore, I forgot the fact that God always answers prayers, whether it is a yes, or a no, or a wait.

I guess I have to learn to wait in faith and do the things that I am supposed to do--Things that He has entrusted me to do, and do it well.

And, I need to learn to wait in prayer.

Nasty Dream

2009-06-03T17:56:00.000-07:00

I dreamt I was back in Malaysia, with a few of my friends from Emmanuel, from Pahang, from INTI itself, from everywhere la...even from my memory...etc etc...And then I dreamt that we were in INTI for dunno what reason. David was there too, and he was wearing his red shirt I can remember.

So I dreamt that my old friend from J'tut was in the car, and she was driving. It was David's car, and I wonder how on earth he came to trust the car to her. So anyway, I asked whether I could take over or not. And she said yes, so I took over the wheel and we had some good spins around INTI.

When the time came to go home, I had to drive a few of my friends home with me back to Seremban. And suddenly, there was a police stop at the side of the road. And guess what, I was still driving David's car. I had a license, but I remembered suddenly that it was a P licence. Good gracious...And there was no P sticker on David's car duuh...

So anyway, the police checked my license, and I was almost ready to say that we were free to go because apparently he didn't check the P part, until he told me to pull up by the side of the road. Gah, I knew that my license had been blown.

See the thing about Malaysia is, if you drive around with a P license, and you don't have a sticker on your car, your license will be revoked. No more driving for you, and you will have to take the bloody expensive and unreasonable exam again

I really thought mine was revoked, and I cried and panicked in the dream, which just shows how capable I am to face problems. And I woke up and felt relieved...

Mission ImpossiBall EMC 2009

2009-05-24T19:19:00.000-07:00

Guess what's a happenin'!!! That's right...It is EMC (emmanuel college) ball night, and here are pictures from the event...From left to right: Clarie, Nick, me, Dream and Zak...

More photos...

Friday night was our college ball, and we had it in an awesome location...Brisbane Town Hall!! I wonder how the execs managed to wrangle that out...

There was drink-all-you-can sort of thing there, and they brought in a DJ. We took tonnes of pictures, sure because the girls looked too awesome!! All my friends looked like stars on the red carpet that day, and Julia looked like a goddess...Jess looked like a queen and Kyla looked like a fairy tale...

here is proof:

the picture above: that's Julia and Clarie...

that's Jess and me...Jess had the most beautiful dress on that night I reckon..the other jess's dress was also just as gorgeous!:

This is Jess Huntley...The girl in the other pic was Jess Heslin....So confusing--so many Jess' around hahah.

And here is our gang!!! A few of our closest friends...

Dream, Allie, me and Scotty's friend...No la her name is Siew Ying, from S'pore...We called her Scotty's friend (from Star Trek) because she is small-sized...Chris started it I think...

That's Bron and me...Bron is one of the loveliest and nicest people I have ever met. She has an aura of pure love and kindness surrounding her!! =)

And she looked totally gorgeous on Ball Night...Her stillettos...O.o

This is me and Ayaka, from Japan (duh)...She is also another very very nice girl!!! Love her...=)

And here is Clarie and I!!! We are officially party-partners ^^ That's Ryan at the background...

Here is another of my official party buddies....That's me and Zak:

And here is one of the best dancers in our group...Also one of my best buddies here...Nick!!!

...Showing off his shuffles....

Someone told me that Whisky Will has a vocal range of 4 octaves...Crap!!! He's a band singer and he does gigs. He's got the looks, the style, the voice, the stagemanship...I'm waiting for his album to come out when he gets famous XD

And that's me and Hulton, EMC student body president:

More ball photos are on my Facebook!!! Cheers and see you guys!!!

Exams coming up...Stepping hard on the gas

2009-05-13T18:23:00.000-07:00

But the thing is, my attention span is so so so short!!! Can die wei...Just cannot sit still and study. Have to force myself to do it if not cannot make it for exam!!

Lalala...Just a random post hehehe...Just because I was toooooo bored doing accounts!!!! ><

Week 8 goes by...

2009-04-30T17:57:00.000-07:00

This week has been very busy and I am still slogging hard like usual, but there is one thing I am happy about. I actually can wake up in the morning when the weather is cold now! Well, that is thanks to my new comforter (which I got from the college) and my new heater.

I'm being so random...

Last night, I found out I actually can make myself sit down, read and work on my assignment! Well, the PowerPoint, at least. But that is a great achievement for me--because you know me. I can hardly sit still even on the toilet bowl to shit. I am so hyoer all the time and I don;t wonder sometimes at the end of the day when I come back to my room I feel so worn out. I just CAN'T sit in one place all the time.

But the very fact that I did manage to get something done in one night meant I was able to control my hyper-ness and one more thing--I didn't eat when I was doing the assignment! Usually, to keep myself still, I would grab a cookie (no, that was too gentle already. I mean, COOKIES--note the plural) and do my work. But now, I can even get it done without eating!!! I lost weight, definitely, since I got my preaviour batch of assignments done. Here comes another batch, but I'm sure I can do it this time--in a better way and with more self-control!!!

Now the only thing with me is learning how to type swiftly and accurately. I can type, yes, but I make so many mistakes when I do, you can imagine how terrible the backspace key on my keyboard is feeling right now. So I have to start learning to type the right way!!! Learning now!!! ^^

Things to think about

2009-04-15T03:11:00.000-07:00

Uncle Hong Nian had just passed away on Good Friday, and Uncle Boon Han could not attend the funeral because he was down with cancer, and Aunty Lay See (Uncle Hong Nian's wife) was also in terminal stage cancer. It was horrible to receive the news so far away from home and it just makes one think about the actual meaning of life and about the very things we take for granted everyday. Life is so meaningless, and just like that can be snuffed out.

It makes one think back about how we spent our days, and what we have actually done. I know I have not actually done anything big yet, but there was this one sentence I heard Derrick say in CG here in CCM. Derrick is my CG leader, by the way, from Singapore.

He said, you should make yourself available to serve God not only all the time, but also all things. God may ask you to serve in an area which you least expect, and maybe He has different plans for you. That was one very important thing I picked up.

I don't know that God is using my life, but I do know that He is everywhere and He has a plan for me and He will show me the way.

Enough of being Emo

2009-04-13T16:38:00.000-07:00

Hey hey all, don't have to run away now--I am not emo-ing any more in the near future (or, hopefully, in the future) in this blog. Let's talk about something more interesting. Like EasterFest (formally called AGMF)...Woohhoohhh!!! (Above is the picture of the entrance of EasterFest).

This easter, I went to Toowoomba with Katrina (we normally call her Katie) and spent about 4 days in her place. Her house is ONE LOVELY PLACE and she has ONE LOVELY FAMILY! The pictures below is the view from her place (verandah, balcony, I dunno what you call that). Will you look at the view! I was told that sometimes early morning, kangaroos would come into her garden--but I didn't see any though =(

Katie has a lovely, lovely family. I met not only her family but her cousins, aunt and uncle, grandma and dog as well. The dog, Mindy, belongs to her grandmom but the dog loves Katie best and everyone knows it.

And here is Katie and her sister, Meredith. Meredith is finishing her final year in ANU (I think so), and as you all would know, she just came back from Canberra for holidays. She is a really funny, chatty girl--so different from Katie and yet just as likeable. She speaks at least 4 different languages, I guess, since she's been travelling a lot. No, she DOES speak 4 different languages. English, French, Spanish, and now Arabic. Impressive!! We were just looking at her photos taken when she was in Syria...

And they were on Facebook. They were trying really hard to convince Mom Tweddell that Facebook was not a bad thing and she should try it, and Chris (Katie's mom) was not convinced at all. But their Dad, Phil, does have his own account.

So the first day we went to Easterfest, we dropped by Queenspark first to see Katie's 5 little cousins from her dad's side. They were a really cute, adorable and lively little bunch. I miss kids (oh wonder!) when I came here because everyone is so grown up. Thankfully there are a lot of babies in church that I am currently attending.

Back to the sub, we went to the main concert area, and it was in the open air. I'll show you a picture of it:

In that place alone there were like 5,000 people already! Fooh! This picture was taken in the evening where there were not so many people. Let me show you the one at night:

So many humans!! The place was jammed pack and since it had been raining (or drizzling) non stop, the whole park was MUD-FILLED, which did not bode well for my long jeans pants combined with my short legs. The entire bottom of the pants was drenched in mud, ick.

There was Rebecca St James, Thousand Foot Crutch, Paul Colman Trio (which decided to reform for EasterFest), Naturally 7 (IF YOU HAVEN'T HEARD THESE GUYS, GO AND BUY ONE ALBUM NOW!!! They sing without music, and they ARE the instruments. Below are YouTube Links of their performance--my phone got a video, but it REALLY did not do them justice), The Sowers (All the way from Africa!!) and many, many more...I can't remember how many there were, actually.

This is naturally 7 in the main toowoomba shopping mall:

And here are links to their performances. Do not care what anyone says--these guys have no tricks whatsoever. Everything, bass guitar, distorted electric guitar, trombones, violins, flutes, keyboards, drums--these guys ARE the sounds. Trust me, I watched them live.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0U5W3td6CXg&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AF-KagTq7qY&feature=related

This is Katie's grandma, whistling to the bird, whose name is Pepito or something like that. Vicious little feller, and suddenly took a liking to me, and decided to land on me, but I passed it to her grandma Dawn.

And on Easter morning, there was the hunting of the easter eggs!! Here is a whole basketful of them--and here is Katie looking very happily at the eggs. No question why. I think she ate a bit too much of them, and at night she had a "sugar-rush" and became very hyper. The next time I want to see Katie hyper, just feed her chocolate and candy floss XD.

And the morning before I left, I saw a Kookaburra!! He's sitting on the ground, looking up into the tree..I'm sure you can spot him =)

Another Emo Post..

2009-04-13T03:52:00.000-07:00

It would be boring to get drunk alone in the room because I wanted to run away from things that continually bugged my mind and made my life miserable. Besides, I don't have the money to drink and to drink would be stupid.

Heck, I am stupid sometimes anyway. I was online just now and I saw my friend's MSN status:
"Booze--Check. Something to emo about--Check. Vivien--Pending." Thanks, PK, for always being concerned about me =)

Now sitting in my room all alone, watching the rain come down in torrents and knowing I would never be the same again after making a decision I have put off too long, I struggle to keep my composure as the insides of me are trying to tear me apart.

I have known myself for too long, and I know what I am capable of doing. I also know what I am NOT able to do. Or at least, have tried too many times to do, but still failed to achieve.

My feelings are colder than the weather--and my heart is failing within me, trying too hard to let go of something that cannot be released. It will only come back to re-capture me soon.

I need help!!! And right now I am on a sinking ship, trying hard not to drown in my own emotions and sadness.

Emo Post...

2009-04-12T06:27:00.000-07:00

I beg the pardon of those who read this post, because you guys who read my blog know I can be pretty emo sometimes but I don't usually emo on blogs--it can be trying to read an emo post because sometimes you just feel like the world is ending after having read it--I know because I read my own diary and then felt like I was about to die. But anyhow, I have to emo here tonight because I am not in Emmanuel and can't crash in people's rooms to rant it out--and I think Katie is asleep right now. She is such a sleepyhead XD.

I was at EasterFest tonight and I was thinking about how God could give up everything, and suffer so much, just for my sake. And who am I?? A used piece of a nobody. I can't tell you how humbling it is just to reflect on my past and think about the things I have done, and those of you who know me well (especially Soph, Lydia, Sherene, XMei, Johnny, Eric and Alex) know what I am thinking about right now as I dwell on the things that I have done.

All I know is that, I have had enough of all these. I want to be free from the thoughts that are trapping me, day and night haunting me with their taunts. I have been trapped in the same place, with the same horrific memories in my mind--living with them for YEARS now--come today almost 6 years!! I lived with those scars for six years now!!!

I want to be the someone I know that is valued highly in Jesus' eyes, and that I was precious enough to be taken in exchange for His life!!!

I don't know that any of you who read this have been through as much suffering as I have in the past few years, except my Dad, my Mom and my Brother (although he won't admit it). Kim and PK have too, I know. They tell me about it. And I know Alex is probably having ten times more to endure than me right now, and I should count my blessings. Alex, I hope life is better for you today than yesterday.

I won't say what are the thoughts that are troubling me right now, only PK and Kim know it. I have to say, I feel like I'm up against the wall and there's no way out.

I want so much to make up my mind, to be able to think clearly, to know what are the right things to do and how to do it. I saw Nut's msn pm "oh muddle confuddles" or something like that and I was thinking, yea, I feel like that.

Why can't the world be a more straightforward place!!! It is so confusing, like business studies. There is no right and wrong. There is just the best option--and the best option for you may not be the best option for another person.

My whole mind is cluttered right now and I think it's best I went to sleep. I write best when I'm emo, and some of my old school friends know how much I can actually write if I am in the mood. Some of my masterpieces (both music, drawing, and writing alike) are produced when I am half asleep and emo at the same time. Best combination for composing songs, I always say. I have been too happy, so I have not written songs in a while. I might write one tonight, except (like in a cocktail), the shot of sleepiness is a tad too much in the drink. Emo is just right but there is a bit too strong shot of sleepiness inside.

Gdnight everyone!!!

Cupcakes and Keyboards don't go well together

2009-04-08T06:29:00.000-07:00

I was chatting online with Wilson, Sophia's twin brother, at the same time eating a cupcake from Brumby's. I adore cupcakes, especially those ones with the sugar icing and those colorful thingys on the top of it...Like this one:

So I was happily eating my cupcake and I finished it and wiped my fingers, continued chatting with Wilson and then...!! I found one red little bit (the colorful thingys of the topping, as you can see in the pic) in between the E and R keys on my keyboard.

So I gan jiong la...I don't want anything to get stuck, especially sweet stuff, on my lappie. So I blow, blow, blow....and the stupid thing defy the force of my wind. It went backwards under the E key...Adui!!

So I got out all sorts of things that looked thin enough: my earring studs, my hair clips, my ditch-digger and everything la. And I poked around under the E, and Wilson thought where I disappear to halfway through the conversation.

I almost got it out...and then!!! The crumb just wedged itself and disappeared through a hole under the key. So now my keyboard has remains of a cupcake...

Lesson of the day: Never eat Brumby's cupcake and chat on msn at the same time.

Revisiting Fayol...

2009-04-06T16:49:00.000-07:00

...Makes me lose out on a lot of my sleep. I wonder, why do authors have to push their point so hard that it actually becomes long-winded??

I have to work on this guy (in picture above) called Henri Fayol, some management theorist that came up with 13 principals or something and I have to submit it tomoro!! Good grief...

Anyway, I'm gonna sleep now since I was nocturnal last night (as I always have been haha!)...Bye bye

临时抱佛脚

2009-04-03T17:14:00.000-07:00

For those of you who are bananas, the above is pronounced as "Ling Shi Bao Fo Jiao", meaning you only "hug Buddha's legs" when you need him. Usually this is always the term students live by, meaning we always scram last minute for exams. I am not an exception. In fact, I think I am almost the phrase itself. Someone mentioned Buddha's legs should be hurting by now kekeke

I have an exam later this afternoon, and I got so tired of studying I decided to blog. I have no self-discipline whatsoever. Katie is sleeping and I could not crash in her room for a couple of nights, That's one problem--I study when people are sleeping and I sleep when people are studying. I am truly nocturnal...Like this feller here:

Now I feel odd studying when people are studying...It just does not feel like me. I have not seen the Nut the whole day yesterday--what a random fact ><...Come to think of it, I have not hung out if Dougie for quite some time too...

Back to work, Li Wei!!!!

Confessions of a Shopaholic...

2009-04-01T18:50:00.000-07:00

...Is basically what describes me. I am a dreadful shopaholic, and if no one is around, I will spend the way you see Rebecca spend in the movie. In fact, I think I can outspend her if I just had a credit card!! So no credit cards for me in the future. ATM cards will do.

I have this insane liking for shoes, clothes, accessories etc etc and anything else that looks nice and new (basically, everything in the shopping mall). Even notebooks or diaries attract me, for pity's sake!!! ESPECIALLY anything pink, or that has warm, springtime colors. I love anything that has the combination of yellow, orange and light green...I don't know why. I just love bright colors.

And basically, the mall is just made up of bright colors...So I have to control myself every time I enter the mall. And depending on my mood too. If I am in a bad mood, I will go for sophistocated clothes...And if I am in good mood, I will go for bright clothes or sparkling shoes...I am such a magpie, my dad says.

I have had trouble with curbing my spending habits, but coming to Brisbane made me spend a lot less. Because it is so difficult to get to the shopping malls...Have to wait for buses and things like that, and combined with the fact that I might hop on the wrong bus and get off the wrong stand, I choose not to go shopping unless friends are with me. And if friends are with me when I shop, that means there is more control with me. They will stop me from spending too much!!!

I am afraid to say, I think I will have to marry rich old men--I am such a spendaholic!!! This is one of my pictures back home in Seremban where I went for a shopping spree...AGAIN...

Pressure Now Piling Up...

2009-03-30T03:43:00.000-07:00

...From many unfinished and procrastinated assignments. I feel like there's a whole lot of work to do--well, I tend to hang about and leave things off last minute. And the problem with me is that I tend to do the part of the work I like, and then leave it off when it comes to the hard or sloppy part. So in the end the work is only half done, and half-done = unfinished.

And there's tonnes of unfinished work.

And now, all the deadlines are catching up on me!!! Right now I'm supposed to be studying, but the thing is, I just cannot concentrate at all...I wonder why. ><

I think I might disturb Katie again, but the thing is I have disturbed both her and my friends in Douglas too much already. Poor people have to put up with me. Haha!!

Today I don't feel so good--both physically and emotionally. I have tried my best just to put all feelings aside and focus on my work, but I wonder how I can do that. Sure, it works for a while, and then even under the supervision of friends, I drift away from the assignment. Oh dear...I wonder HOW ON EARTH am I supposed to get this thing done!!!

Heaven help me...

More as the days go by...

2009-03-25T01:41:00.000-07:00

I was in class this morning and I felt so tired I just went to sleep...right in the class. Luckily for me, I managed to wake up!! If not I would have drooled or snored, which would be extremely embarrassing...

Anyway, thankfully I had my recording on as usual, so I could catch up with the lecturer later. When Sean found out I was recording, he said he would cough more (to mess up the sound. grrr)...

I just discovered Uncle Boon Han has very late stage cancer...Why do all the bad news come at once???

More Random Updates...

2009-03-22T15:43:00.000-07:00

Last Thursday night was Big Exchange again...And it was definitely more fun than the previous one. St Leo guys...Gah.

So anyway, that night I was feeling depressed again and I wanted to get myself drunk. I drank some, but not enough to actually get high, so I went to the dance floor. I have no idea why I get dizzier when I dance--dunno why so weird wan.

So anyway, the next day I asked Nick whether I did anything stupid or not the last night. He was laughing his head off, saying, "When you are drunk you speak in the Aussie accent!!"

And I was like...OK, so I should drink more LOL.

Nah, just kidding, but its amazing what effects of alcohol can do to you haha. Right now I may be a fan of cocktails, but my most fav alcoholic drink is still.....

..

..

..

..

..

BAILEYS IRISH CREAM!!!!!

Best in the world mannn... I remember how after every driving lesson I had, I used to down one glass of that to de-stress...It's supremely awesome!! =)

College Idol Audition 1

2009-03-18T02:39:00.000-07:00

I was never this unprepared before in my entire life, and never this amazed at how the grace of God could work.

Even though I did not make it as my college Idol, I am not so concerned anymore. God has taken me this far, and I trust He will take me farther than this.

Actually, signing up was a last minute thing...I didn't want to sign up. And in the end, I decided, who knows, just sign up! So during lunch I picked up the pen and signed my name.

That was a day before the audition...And I had not picked a song yet?? I had no idea what was required of me...

Before I went to the audition room, I met Allie in the music rooms when I went to practice. And she, being the "Da Jie" (Big Sister) that she was, helped me choose my song last minute. I was going to sing Amazing Grace, and then she asked me to sing a couple more songs for her to hear. And she told me that the song "Inside Your Heaven" by Carrie Underwood was a better choice, because of the high note Carrie hit at the part "When the storm blows your waaaaaaayyyyyyyyy..." She said it brought out some true power or something...

And I tried hitting it at practice, and I barely made it. I was very doubtful of hitting high notes in a high risk situation, auditions or performances. But Allie said I could hit it, and she gave me a few pieces of advice, so I took it and went ahead with the song.

And what do you know, I did not lose my place in singing, and did not hit any wrong note, and also I managed to squeeze some emotion in it...

I can't believe how the grace of God can catch me at unexpected moments--where people came to support me, taught me, helped me along the ways I would never have imagined, and also they gave me the love and friendship I missed so much in INTI...And even though this is like my 6th attempt at trying to go for Idol, and failing yet again, I have the feeling that I finally belong here in Emmanuel.

Just a Random Update on my life in Brisbane...

2009-03-14T02:34:00.000-07:00

I've been here for about 3 weeks or so?? And yea, the weather is crazy. First when I came, it was SO hot. I was sweltered and now I'm darker than ever. Goodbye to whitening creams--none here whatsoever man!!! No one wants to be white here--they all want to get dark. When I told my dormmates (obviously Australian) that they sold whitening creams back home and its a HUGE business, they were like...

Yea, I know what you girls are thinking back home. Who wants to get any darker than that?? We splurge on sunblock and whitening creams, facial whitening washes and even whitening powders.

On Thursday night, our college was supposed to have some exchange thingy with the Leo boys and Women's College girls. Our girls go with the Leo boys and our boys go with the Women's girls.

We went to some bar, and there was really cheap drinks. A jug of cocktails--was about AUD10?? Dream and I shared one jug (Dream is Korean, by the way. Her name really is Dream--I saw it in her passport). And we finished it in like--15 minutes??

The Leo guys were like so damn boring man...Hello, this is an exchange, so you're supposed to like--at least talk to the girls?? Don't hit on them also never mind la...

Just look how dark I am now, compared to them at least...In the previous picture, I was on the phone with Dream, begging her to hurry up because we were all waiting for the bus that was supposed to come about 15 minutes ago???

These are my dormmates from Henderson Wing--ours is the largest and THE noisiest wing. Some people call it the party wing. There's drinks in the dorm every night I think...And even now I can hear the guys downstairs making noise. Yea, guys and girls share the same dorm, so the guys can go in the girls' rooms and vice versa. I think I mentioned this before right.

The party was like--so boring man. And you know once you drink, and if you don;t get high, you get sleepy. So that was precisely what Dream and I felt. The dance floor was not inviting AT ALL and most of the time we were drinking and sampling people's drinks. LOL.

So yea, that was Thursday. We went back early.

Friday (that was last night), we went to the Uni bar. UQ actually has a bar on campus--not bad eh??? It was opening night and they were selling 2nd degree burns for really cheap prices...And turned out mine didn't burn at all?? I was not even feeling the effects of it--except my face turned red. Mine turns red REALLY fast--I wonder why...

Here are some photos..I went with other people this time...

That's Alison, me and Bron...They were really sweet girls. =)

Then there's Nick and me--he's from Malaysia too. Thank heavens...because I don't have any other Malaysian friends to sort of hang out with--the other Malaysian girl Shin Yee is really busy and doesn't come out often I think..I never see her around.

And after that we went back to the Douglas wing to hang out--and Tony had too much to drink:

We should keep him away from alcohol the next time. And so did Nick...Look at the crazy guy:

After that we went to the Junior Common Room and played pool...And snap after that. Slept at 2 I think...Can't remember...

I was so tired today...I slept for an eternity. I think I should get some work done now...Before I start procrastinating again!!!

Brisbane, Brisbane, Brisbane

2009-03-07T13:56:00.000-08:00

I just finished my breakfast--its a lovely Sunday morning and I'm blogging before going to church later. I cannot believe I actually get up automatically every morning about 6am?? Sometimes I even get up at 5 something...I can't go back to sleep already after that. It's automatic.

Anyway, I went to Harbour Town yesterday with Katie, Nicholas, Sean, and Dream. They sell branded things cheap there--its out of season or odd stuff actually...You can get things A LOT cheaper there. Gucci sold for like...less than AUD150?????

I bought myself 2 pairs of shades and a pair of shoes for walking to class. Dream bought flip-flops and Nick bought shirts and some underwear (><)...But I still spent the most.

Too bad I didn't take any pictures...I was having trouble enough trying to keep myself from running away with the shopping...I have very very little self control, as most of my friends know, when it comes to things like clothes, shoes, cosmetics and accessories.

Got to go and iron my hair first before I go..It already looks like a mane ><

Starting of lectures...

2009-03-03T03:04:00.000-08:00

Today was insane...I did try to wake up early but spent the morning before breakfast doing my hair up (see, I have sudden urges to style my hair even for mundane things like classes) and so i rushed a little to breakfast.

After that, I rushed to my first lecture in UQ. It was already hot, and the sun was getting hotter. To make things worse, my handy little fan, the one Kim gave me, broke already a long time ago...!!! Gah...So frustrating.

And the whole running around thing made all the hair come messy and unstyled. Gah.

So anyway, when I went in the lecture theater, it was not even ventilated!!! I was about to pass out from heat stroke at that time...It was awful. I understood what the person was saying as I already studied OB (organizational behavior) before my courses started, but the heat was already killing me and got to my head--so I got a little more sluggish than usual.

Luckily for me, there was only one lecture that day!! This is like salvation if I compare it to A Levels man....A Levels was crazy. Now I know why people say, if you've done A Levels, degree is a piece of cake.

But not for me--I'm struggling with the language barrier--I guess I might have to take some English classes despite getting a band 8 for IELTS...Sad right???

Anyway, gtg...Need to familiarize myself with the lecture notes and things like that!! Gdnite everyone!!!

P.S.: God helped me today. I was supposed to get some book for my lecture this morning, and when I went into the 2nd-hand store, they were out of those books. So yea, I found the book when I met Allie (exec from Shanghai) and bought it from her. Praise God!!!

Dear Readers...

2009-02-28T16:24:00.000-08:00

I'm sorry, life here has been crazily hectic. I have not had the time to blog...so now I'm trying to make up for it. I've added some photos so you guys can see what it is like here in UQ...

I am studying Bachelor of Business Management in UQ, and I'm staying in a residential college called Emmanuel College. Its already 100 years old!!!

Brisbane is hot and there are sharks in the river. Good grief...the things here are potent!!! There are snakes and spiders that can actually kill you in a matter of minutes. I feel so terrified...If you thought Malaysia was bad, then you should come here. The jellies here (jellyfish) are super poisonous. Can kill you in one minute. Literally one minute.

I have not really enrolled in my courses yet...Soon I will have to. Maybe tonight...

I reached here on Saturday, as you all know, and we had bush dancing. Basically everyone just dresses up cowboy style and dances group dances. There were people singing and playing musical instruments..it was really nice.

Sunday was clubbing I think...We went to Pig'n'Whistle. It's actually a bar. And that was a nice place.

I can't remember what we did on Monday...I only know we had a convocation dinner on Tuesday, where everyone wore convocation robes and things like that, and Wednesday was ugly bowling. We dressed up in the ugliest things we could find and went right in the middle of Brisbane city and made noise and bowled in the bowling alley. Haha! You should see some of these...

haha!! i took this without their knowledge though..so i might be sued or something...

then we had toga party on friday night...where everyone dresses up as a greek god or something...

thats all my neighbours in the wing...

and Saturday had some trip to sunshine coast...where the beach is just awesome!!!

2009-02-24T19:30:00.000-08:00

Dear Readers,

This is my fourth day at UQ. The campus wasn’t as baffling as it first was when I reached there, but the activities are. Everyone is sending me on wild goose chases, and I couldn’t find out how or where to go and things like that. Hate it, hate it, hate it!!!

I wonder why people do so many things online here. I barely can get by myself, and I wonder how people do it. Most of the time, I forget things and more often, don’t know those things exist. Luckily for me, VJ helped me out a great deal. He’s some blessing from God.

I need to spend the remainder of the afternoon reading up about UQ and learning things that are even irrelevant, because sooner or later I’m going to need it.

I can’t use the Internet yet, drat UQ.

Yesterday we had a trivia, and I found out how left behind I was from the orientation. I didn’t know what the people were talking about, and I don’t even know who they were mentioning. I really find Western culture very hard to absorb—I guess I’m really Asian after all. 90% of the time I couldn’t understand what they were saying and I had to keep asking them to repeat themselves. Most of the time people don’t understand me and so I kept my mouth shut. But when you do, you find out that you miss out on a lot of info. Thank heavens Katie is here to help me and I’m not missing entirely that much after all. If I didn’t ask her...I wonder what hell I’ll be going through.

I have a good deal of worries on my head now. There’s so many things I need to learn about UQ, and David is not talking to me . There’s too many things on my hands and more on my head and I haven’t got half of it done yet SHIT!!!!

I am so hungry...I need to go lunch soon. Crap, I’m starting to sound like one of them. Well, at least I don’t swear like them.

All they talk here is cute guys, sex, who made out with who and other things like that. Well, not all of them talk that, but I can’t really talk with them because well, its so not me?? I wonder how I’m going to survive this year ahead...Feel like crap right now. I only had a couple hours of sleep and later I might need to go out again?? Headache...

2009-02-24T19:29:00.002-08:00

This morning I had a more familiar breakfast. Thank God Malaysia sells things like cereal and peaches! I had a good breakfast but now I’m hungry. Must be the jet lag effects again...

So far my second day at UQ was much, much better than yesterday. Yesterday I was down in the dumps because (if you haven’t read the previous entry, my laptop—LilPinky—dropped down the trolley and cracked. I was so hurt I couldn’t really enjoy anything.

But tonight was different. I met a few awesome people here, and the seniors and wing leaders (that’s what they call blocks here—they call them wings) were really helpful and friendly. They helped us to get along here.

Katie’s birthday is on Wednesday, and I hope I can remember to put her card by the door.

2009-02-24T19:29:00.001-08:00

Dear Readers,

Second day of my new stay in Emmanuel College, UQ. I made a new friend—her name is Katrina, I call her Katy. She’s really sweet and she helped me learn up the new things a lot. I found a couple of Malaysian friends here too, and it really helps. Anything to remind me of home sweet (and corrupted) home...

I went shopping just now, and I finally bought a fan. My dear family helped me to get settled in my room—they even laid out my cupboards with pink wrapping paper—mom knows my taste. There are tonnes of snacks now in my room and I’m not sure whether that’s allowed but I don’t really care. Later I have to go lunch, and now is siesta. I’m busy blogging away...

Pinky is none the worse for her fall, and things are feeling a lot better now I’m sure she’s alright. Today morning stank though—the seniors woke us up at 6 in the morning and they literally banged my door down. So if I forget my key, I know who to call. I was having bad jet lag and my head spun badly...I think I really need to sleep now.

I miss David so bad...I wish I could hug him to sleep, and then it’ll feel much better.

2009-02-24T19:20:00.000-08:00

Dear Readers,

I miss INTI tonnes!!! Australia is nothing like good old Malaysia after all. The place I stay is full of partying (as expected of the “ang mos”), no good old mamak and shandy in the basketball court after lights out. Everything is too new—including my dorm mates. I’m the only Asian in my dorm I think, if I’m not mistaken. And everything has rules!!! No wasting water, no bathing more than a certain amount of time, no nothing...walauuu...

All those of you in INTI, thank God you are in INTI. Because I miss it so so so much...I can’t take any more partying or my head will split. I’m so not used to their lifestyle here—I don’t even know how to eat the burgers here (FYI, they’re too huge)!!! And all the girls here swear like nobody’s business...I can’t get over missing all of you guys here in INTI. I made a few friends here so far, but they sort of lack the warmth. There are a few Malaysians here, haven’t really met them properly yet.

I forgot to bring my adapter, so I can’t charge my lappie. Another thing—my brother dropped my laptop this morning!!! >< I cried because it cracked at the end and it no longer looked like the Pinky I bought. I was so angry this morning and I still hurt because it was new...Not even a month old yet OMG...

I still feel very weird and I don’t like to look at Pinky’s gash. I feel so sad when I do.
The very start of today felt wrong and I hate the feeling I feel here. I’m beginning to feel that I don’t really like Australia after all...Only after a day of being here. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.

OMG my ears hurt from the swearing.

Gtg bathe...I reek. Gdnite everyone!!!

alleria windrunner

2009-02-18T01:57:00.000-08:00

This afternoon I tried Alleria for the first time properly. I only managed 7 pawns and that was not something to be proud of, considering I was playing against the AI...Good grief, I have not met anyone as noob as me yet so far—I still take the prize of Noobiest Player of the Century.
I’ve just finished packing—I am not really looking forward to studying again, seeing that my few months at home vacationing and playing Dota has been bliss. But well, life is all about reality isn’t it??
One of my friends once said that I live in a world of fairies and butterflies and I have never smelt anything but roses or something to that effect—I can’t really recall what he said. I always want to run away from reality, which is not really such a good thing. Sure you feel happy for a while, but later you get the feeling that something is not right and there are a lot of things you don’t really know. So it’s back to reality for me...No more roses and butterflies and pixies and whatever nonsense.
Since I learnt about the Obsession-Compulsion thing in me, I decided to change it. And things are getting MUCH better now since I stopped being obsessed with things. And not just better—a whole lot better!!!

10 things you didn't know about me

2009-02-11T03:33:00.000-08:00

Here are 10 things I bet you didn't know about me =)....

1. I can do full splits!! ^^

2. I have two kinds of burps : the real one that sounds fake, and the real one that
sounds real. By the way, I burp louder than either my dad, my brother, or my
guy cousins. XD

3. My favorite actress is Reese Witherspoon.

4. I DO NOT like lettuce--only eat it to avoid constipation.

5. I didn't watch TV for a whole year (year 1999). When I was in Std 5--hey I'm serious!!!

6. I smell my pig every night when I sleep, that's why I have a problem with blackheads.

7. My favorite color changes all the time--but it rotates around pastel colors.

8. My favorite person is my younger brother (only when he is in the favorable mood).

9. The first time I ironed my school uniform was when I was in form 1, and I burnt my blouse.

10. When I have the mood to eat, I can REALLY eat!!!

Funny dream

2009-02-10T21:40:00.000-08:00

Last night I could not sleep that well--I kept dreaming and had nightmares. So in the morning, I tumbled out of my bedroom and went to the couch where I resumed my (more comfortable) sleep, although why the couch is more comfortable than my bed I have no idea why.

Then I dreamt--I should tell you though, that dreaming is nothing new for me. In fact, I dream every night--or almost every night. And I dream a few dreams per night!! So if I am tired and grouchy the next day, or if I sleepwalk, there is no other reason other than I did not really sleep that night.

This morning, on the couch, I dreamt about being on a boat with my family...then I dreamt that I had TWO brothers. FYI, I only have one younger brother.

So I asked my mom, since when I have another brother?? My mother said, oh, he's been there all this time--just that both of them have almost the same face, so you thought there's only one.

LOL...

Fate/Stay Night

2009-02-07T23:56:00.000-08:00

I love Fate/Stay Night...This is really tragic (a major catastrophe) considering that anime was decades ago, and I just only watched it. I really wanted a Fate/Stay Night 2 but I guess it would spoil the original story and its so painful ending. There would be no meaning if the creators resurrected Saber, and seeing that Saber is THE main character of the story (Shirou reminds me of someone who is always trying to help and ends up making a mess—the only time he DID help was when they both defeated Beserker and Gilgamesh), it would be impossible to create a sequel without Saber in it. And to resurrect her—would be so souless.

My favourite character in the story, is definitely Rin Tohsaka. Sakura is very adorable but I think she needs a little more spirit, and all that is found in Rin (duuh, they’re sisters). Ilya is cute too, but she is too sadistic sometimes (before Beserker was defeated)—can’t really trust her enough to like her.

And my favourite servant is Assassin!!! The guy is so cute—I’m so sad Archer and Assassin don’t come into the story as much as busybody Shirou...They are so much cooler. OK, this is weird because Archer is actually Shirou, but why did they show his present time more than his future?? His future is like so much more “man”...I so envy Rin...She gets to command him to do things man!!!

Sure, Assassin’s skills are not much worth talking about, but in the end he’s hilarious. “I overestimated my ability to judge women...” LOL. His hair and his costume is awesome. Gilgamesh!! Omg another one...Funny feller—every time I see him I can’t stop laughing. How on earth did they come up with that idea of him proposing to Saber...

Anyway, my brother was asking, why didn't Rider expose her eyes...Since she is Medusa anyway. I was thinking, yea, if she did expose her eyes, there would be no more fate/stay night series already--everyone also lose to her since they all turned into stone XD

Anyway, I can’t wait to go Aus in a few days time!! It’s going to be so much fun—and I’m almost trembling with excitement...I’m trembling with cold now I know. My legs are having the rheumatism and it isn’t very pleasant. I have had it since I was a kid and it hurts like crazy. Especially when the weather is very cold, and it’s impossible to get warm. The rheumatism gets worse. Tonight is still bearable. I’m putting LilPinky on my lap to warm my legs. She’s a laptop after all.

I miss all my friends here in Malaysia..the youth here are so hostile. Even in church!! Gah...They look at me and don’t even attempt to smile at me...>< Such human also got.
Better go to sleep now...Today I played basketball and I suck at it. Goodnight everyone!!

Dear Readers

2009-02-07T23:55:00.000-08:00

I have been back in Malaysia for like a few days, and the food tastes like heaven!!! Seriously...I drank up every single drop of “kuah” from the roti canai bowl...I will NEVER, EVER underestimate mamak food again.

Met up with my old friends here in Seremban church, and no matter how much our youth are dying, I have seen deader ones in Jakarta. No kidding.

Anyway, I’m right in the airport, drinking hot chocolate and blogging at the same time. There really is nothing to do because we’re early...dad had to settle some things with the airport people—we accidentally booked double flight. Luckily for us, we could get a refund!!! If not so much money wasted.

Just when I thought I’d settled in Jakarta, in a few days time I have to be off to Australia...Haiyoh...So the very susah. Every time it’s just move, move, move. Darn it...
The wifi here is super slow—can’t really do anything. Even cannot check my facebook thingy!!!

Clothes for sale, people!!!

2009-02-05T21:15:00.000-08:00

My church friends are selling clothes online...here's the link:

http://pickupbuttercup.blogspot.com/

Lots of nice clothing--and at great prices too!! Go check it out ^^

Here are a few samples...

Just Randomly Drawing when I had the Mood...

2009-02-05T21:10:00.000-08:00

I drew an artist in her studio--but I think I should have made her look more messy and wear a headscarf....

Nevertheless, I spent a good deal on her--hope my next attempt will be more artistic

New Lappie!!!

2009-02-05T21:07:00.000-08:00

I just got my lappie from Edmund a few days ago...And its PINK!!! So so so cute..I decided to call it LilPinky. Nice name right??

Here it is:

2009-01-25T17:39:00.000-08:00

Here are some videos I took of traffic here in Jakarta so my readers can have a better understanding about what I tell them. I took it on a holiday so it isn’t really that cramped as it usually is. Some other time I’ll get a good shot of the road. Notice the portholes, and the number of motorcycles on the road. Traffic here is mainly made up of cabs, avanzas and motorcycles.

Oh, and the other video is how security checks are done in Indonesia. Every car is examined with a mirror and a metal detector (I dunno why) before allowed to enter any shopping mall, building, or anywhere that is full of people. They are terrified of terrorists.

More new things to find out...

2009-01-25T17:37:00.000-08:00

The last few days, I discovered something else intelligent about Indonesia: the water heater. It simply knows when I should stop wasting water.

I do not bathe like the average girl you see on TV (those that take an hour in the shower) but I do know I still take quite some time—say about 15 minutes??

OK, I'm a clean freak but I'm not THAT freakish. Most of the time, I hang about in the shower enjoying the hot water. However, here in Country Woods, the shower is being very un-cooperative and very super eco friendly. It turns off the hot water when it senses I no longer use it to wash myself. So when I've rinsed, and its time to get out, the hot water switches off on its own accord and I discover myself standing under streams of cold water—which is not pleasant after a nice hot bath. So I get out of the shower automatically.

Now, some showers tend to stop showering hot water for a bit, then after a while, they give in. Not so with mine, It's awfully strict—times up means times up. I tried once to stay under the cold water for some time but the shower never gave in. Gah.

an imported post...

2009-01-24T06:52:00.000-08:00

i now have another crap blog, and the sole purpose of that blog is for me and brother to crap in it. here's a sample:

Psalms at night...

From the Chicken:

Last night, i was reading my Bible before i slept. And i came across this verse "Many are they who rise up against me"....This is so true!!! For the mosquitoes...I mean.

There were so many mosquitoes in my room I lost count already...And you know what happens. They prefer not to leave me alone. Malaysian mosquitoes can be vanquished by the means of spray or the electric vape thingy, but no way you can do this in Indonesia.

After dousing my room with Baygon (the Indonesia Shieldtox), that night still got mosquitoes singing in the room. And installing the vape didn't do any good either. So the only way to get rid of the mosquitoes??? SMACK THEM.

So I sat up and waiting and kicked about for the mosquitoes--and succeeded in killing two.

I must probably mention something about the mosquitoes here--they are extremely intelligent. In the middle of the night, when I was half asleep, something bit me on the face. Gah. So i sat up and hunted for that creature.

And, being a mosquitoe, it didn't appear when i was sitting up!! So i decided to fool the mosquitoe, and i put on my glasses and had a hand ready to slap the mosqitoe while i was sleeping in the bed. One of my eyes open.

The blasted creature still didn't appear!!! GAAAAHH...so i thought i could ignore it and go back to sleep. With the light still on, I took off my glasses and slept.

THEN the feller came....It knew the only way i could see it was when I had my glasses on!! Super intelligent mosquito..

And then i got mad. I sat up and banged the whole room to find out the mosquitoe--and when it didn't appear, I shouted, "Show yourself, you cowardly creature...If you want to suck my blood, come for it!!"

And it fell for the trick. Showing itself, I smacked it against the wall. The end. As Psalms goes...."I will lie down and sleep in peace...."

and here's the link!!!

http://dotaallmoons.blogspot.com/

as i said, there is dota allstars, why not dota allmoons???

A little bit more about Indonesia...

2009-01-23T04:53:00.000-08:00

Today, I was on my way to Bandung, the shopping haven of Indonesia. And guess what, we took 3 hours plus to get there, and went to TWO shops (with only one having things worth seeing) and then went back!!! Shopping with my parents can be a nightmare.. I am so frustrated!! There were so many nice things there and so cheap too and this is one of the rare times I actually get to go somewhere other than field in my area--and they spend it going to TWO shops that sell reject items!!! omg omg omg...i can't believe how bad it can get.

Anyway, there was a lot of things I promised my beloved readers to write about, but have not had the chance to write. Now I am writing about them.

I live in Southern Jakarta area--Ciputat. The most amazing things I found are the road and the drivers. Three quarters of the roads are made or portholes and most of them are only the size of our Malaysian one lane--where two cars can squeeze past each other with 3 inches between safety and collision. Drivers squeeze whenever they can get past each other. Horns are used very very very frequently and 50 percent of the road vehicles are drivers and peddlars who roll their own carts. They take up more than half of the road space.

There are no such things as rules here and traffic police are volunteers who get tips from grateful (and stressed out drivers) for a living. People here drive over road dividers (sometimes using the opposing lane to drive when there are no cars) and the funny thing is, there do not seem to be any accidents here!! weird...

The concept seems to be, "I can use this space to drive, I can get faster to my destination, if there is a space and no cars, I just drive there!"

The toll booths do not give white paper cards like Malaysia does. They give cards that show where you drive from or something like that. I have yet to find out how that system works.

Another thing about Indonesia--people look through you as if you ate glass. When walking in the shopping complex, people don't seem to see you and in fact, they SEE THROUGH you..you don't exist, so they find no reason to change their direction so as to avoid collision.

Yet another new fact--people here are very enterprising and find all sorts of ways to make money. They sell strawberries by the side of the road, in the middle of the road and sometimes they chase cars to sell their goods. Their dust your car, sell newspapers, water and nuts sometimes...

Oh, and another thing about Indonesia--every possible surface that appears clean is covered with graffiti...let me show you an example:

NICE...???

more snapshots...

all the haze covering indonesia....

gah

a new year...and new things altogether

2009-01-06T07:49:00.000-08:00

now i'm sitting in front of my dad's lappie and finally feel the liberation of being able to use the internet. and i find life in indonesia quite wonderful--since i like new things and everything is new here--duh!!

my place is called country woods and i'm staying in a fully furnished apartment, surrounded by expats and more expats. the entire area is chock full with whites and koreans and japanese...O.o

my brother went to register at british international school in jakarta, and he found it more different than to his liking. he had to pick up japanese as a second language, because they didn't teach chinese there. anyway, i'm so jealous of him. he gets to learn music free and also, he gets to learn performing arts!!! i'm so so so envious...

the school is full of ang mos and they speak in the british slang--which is quite terrifying now that you realize you can hardly understand a word they say. and what is worse, even BM can't save you now. last time in malaysia, at least when you dunno how to say a word in english, you start telling it in malay. here, the "BM" is different and most of the natives dun understand english. when you talk to the british, you can't rely on BM to back you up; and when you talk to the indonesians, you can't really speak english. rotten!!

but that just shows how well you learn to adapt anyway. because the faster you do, the faster you feel comfortable. and we must have either looked or sounded very foreign because the people here kept looking at us curiously.

and the worse part, i am starting to speak in their slang already omg...hope i don't sound too weird when i go back. it can't be helped, really, because if you don't somewhat adapt to their slang, you find yourself trying very very hard to make yourself understood XD

anyway, i went to the pool today to swim so i'm super tired--and the pool is so tiny!! good grief..couldn't they have made a bigger one?? its not even half olympic size ><

gdnite everyone!!

leaving malaysia...

2008-12-18T16:59:00.000-08:00

Soon my family will be in Jakarta, Indonesia. I never ever thought that once in my life I would have to stay in Indonesia, of all places. Well, at least I'm staying there--I'll be off to Brisbane in Feb and can't wait to get there...

I'm actually feeling a good deal nervous. Seeing that I hardly understand their accent and have a hard time trying to communnicate with them.

When I think about going there, I feel afraid and also excited at the same time. Afraid because I'm switching course and although I have done my part of studying, I cannot guarantee it'll be like the good old science days. The grass is always greener on the other side >< And excited because I can't wait to try out a whole new lifestyle and learn a whole new lot of things...I want to EAT life up! haha... I drank Bailey last night and I feel like drinking it again today--addicted already so bad T.T...but it tastes good leh!!

We're selling off the car and also a whole lot of things...like the computer. My brother is not very happy about it--seeing that he tweaked the computer into a super powerful machine--even my friends oso envy the graphics and wanted the card adui... Well, life has its changes which are unavoidable. We've lived in M'sia so long already, now its time to say good bye. And I feel rather sad thinking about all the friends we're going to leave behind. Sure once in a while we'll be back, but things will never be the same again. Anne Shirley of Montgomery's books once said that she loved bends in the roads--I both like them and detest them...I suppose that's because I tend to get rather sentimental and I'm not suited to change at all. I like new things, but DRASTIC new things tend to send me a little off balance though.

Last night, David and I garena-ed. Of course he won la, but I managed to get 4 kills out of him (he got 2 out of me) hehe...which I did not mean to get but I was so gan jiong that I just had to kill him to get him out of my way so that I could feel safer again XD

No more DotA against David, thank you--I told you all he sure bully me de..And bully me he did. Blasted all my towers in the base when I was still respawning ><

Gtg eat breakfast...hungry!!

end of the year...

2008-12-14T17:15:00.000-08:00

christmas is coming and i'm so happy...dad is back from indon and next year mom and bro will be going with him to jakarta there. i'm sure for good--though they have not wanted to sell the house. but they are selling off the car though.

to me, life is getting much better now (despite not feeling well these few days) because i found out a whole new me. and the new me is very exciting. actually, its not that very new--its just like an empire you know. there are "zaman gemilangs" and "dark ages" haha.

going to aus is so exciting--and i'm getting jittery and nervous. i hope i can do well there...since we are paying a fortune.

i was so afraid that we'd have to spend watchnight in jakarta and it'll be so dreadfully dull--there's no place like home after all =P

you know, when the old lilahu gang came back (except for lizzie--i am so going to stranggle her), i felt so so so happy. sure the SGC youth may be around most of the time but i find that i feel rather lonely. i don't seem to be able to speak their slang, i mean as in besides the lilahu gang la. the only people that seem to share the same lingo are sharon, timothy, shiao fern, nicholas and his sister. and of course my dear old brother. but all the same, nothing beats the lilahu after all--i grown so attached to them all i can't imagine being separated again ><

when they came back all in one day, i felt the sense of BELONGING once more--which i have not felt for a very super long time leh...and i'm still happy until now!!! overflowing happiness hahah...

hmmm!!!

2008-12-13T03:11:00.000-08:00

david wanted to bully me--challenge me dota woh...so scary leh because he said wan to use troll warlord...gila ka that hero so scary leh...he only wan to bully me leh T.T

today afternoon i cooked again, so i decided to try something new. i read about some recipe in the salad book about mozarella tomatoes or something like that, but because my and bro could not afford mozarella, we had to be content with cheddar--and the kraft singles kind at that.

but no matter! i melted the cheese and whipped it and added stuff to it, and salted and peppered the tomatoes. it tasted delicious, even it being cheddar hey!

so fun to experiment when it tastes good...but that day i cooked ratatouille, and my brother didn't like it at all. it seems as if i'm about the only human who likes to eat brinjall haha--so weird.

i finally bought the shirt i wanted at Terminal! i looked everywhere leh...cannot find it....then suddenly found it at Terminal on discount some more!! so happy ^^

later must DotA already...David can't wait to bully me but i think we cannot play--our warcraft diff version and i don wan to upgrade it humph!! heheh

merrier posts for a merry christmas!!! ^^

2008-12-09T09:35:00.000-08:00

Now that David mentioned it to me, I realized that I have been really really negative on my outlook in life. Good grief...life feels so much better to be positive!!! I owe you one, David.

After reading my previous blogs and all, I found out that the things in life that drag you down are never as big as the things that pull you back up. But focusing on the dark things make your eyesight really bad because it seems that the world is nothing but trouble.

I was such a pessimist good heavens!!!

Note the "was" haha...I found out it feels good to be positive and more than good--its satisfying. Nothing beats the contentment feeling at all like, seriously!

I even get over frustrations more easily now...Just by focusing on the good things. Not to say I ignore my troubles--I face them only when I have to. No use worrying about them earlier and after...why did I make my life so miserable anyway???

reading scary things...

2008-12-03T00:40:00.000-08:00

last night i was up late (since i don't get to read other-than-business things before 10pm) reading a novel by douglas preston and lincoln child. i'll tell you this--if you are easily scared and have a hyperactive imagination, DON'T wander anywhere near their books. sure, they may have published a couple years too early (before i was born maybe?? XD) but the fact is, these two are superb at making you feel the chills.

i read this one yesterday...

and i stayed up till 2am to finish it off!! i can't believe how much these guys had me--YEA i know once i start a book i will never put it down unless someone forces me to, and even so with the utmost reluctance--but this was totally new and it was totally scary...

that was the most scariest book i read so far--or maybe i just have a very vivid imagination. these guys, when they decide to be gory and terrorizing, are extremely adapt at being so.

you can check out these other books too...all tantalizing haha

oh--and i find david baldacci books quite good too...

this one is a bit on the long-winded side perhaps

but still a good read. THIS one is good:

full of shooting hahaha...

.......................................................

sometimes its good to remember i'm a girl and read a little less killing--resting myself from violence with help from the little black dress series of books. i tried a few already and i think this is the only one worth reading

eh why am i puting reviews here ar??? adui....

at least i don't go insane to keep myself from boredom--i can hardly get my hands on those books leh--all also get from my mom's school library.

mei ling, i can hardly wait to go shopping with you!! i just realized that i'm on the broke side--wonder how i'll manage the spree though....

nothing to do...another random entry

2008-11-13T21:11:00.001-08:00

i felt rather hot last night and i itched--gosh i didn't realize that i hadn't sunned and disinfected my comforter until like decades ago...so today morning i went out to sun it.

i saw a black cat nicely sleeping on the tray where we put the dishes and pots in the backyard...and it was purring when it saw me. humph!! so i took pains to scare the cat as much as possible and had to wash all of the stuff on the tray--gosh, no knowing what poisoning we might get in the end.

now trying to book a ticket to UQ--but i don't even know whether the interview has been successful or not. humph--whats taking them so long???

so now the comforter is sunning nicely in the backyard and i'll MAKE SURE the cat does not wallow in it or i'm gonna strangle that creature's neck i tell you...

these few days have been squelchingly hot and i can't bear anymore...pengsan...

adui adui adui

more and more random fun...

2008-11-06T18:13:00.001-08:00

here's to a crazy girl who keeps uploading screenshots of dreamworks studios XD

"nyAM nyam..."

random post...

2008-10-31T18:39:00.000-07:00

for a few days, i was digging up all the older movies that i stored in the computer and found a few of them super hilarious--the things which i didn't use to find funny were in fact side cracking... here are a few screen shots. and from these prints, we can all learn something from them.

from the creators of shark tale:...shrek the 1st, 2nd and 3rd~~

we found out the origins of taekwando...

...don't try this at home!! (you can see why)

shrek found out he's allergic to ajinomoto...

[caption-less picture hahah]

There's plenty more to come and we'll be right back with more dreamworks action!!! hahaha

trip back to ipoh...

2008-10-30T23:48:00.000-07:00

...made me grow FAT FAT FAT!!!!!!! and very fat at that. don't look at me--it was not my fault. thats because my grandparents made me eat up everything on the table--me and my brother went up alone because dad and mom were in jakarta looking for a new house. hahaha---freeeeedommmmmmm

for a week la.

anyway, my grandma made all sorts of terrific foods which were really really awesome hahahahah...

and i spent the week eating, sleeping, playing frisbee with my bro every evening and watching all the documentaries there are. those of you who have astro out there, better thank the Lord for all the things you get to see. we only manage to watch these things when we go to our grandparents place and then we watch like nobody's business. besides, the tv in my house is older than me. hahah yea thats right.

so i watched lots of discovery, nat geo and a little bit of hannah montana (i can't believe i'm actually watching miley cyrus....what happened to me...???!!!)...but mostly discovery la. watched a lot of the "is it real" thing on ngeo...XD which in the end still remains unsolved whether real or not real

and on the way back on the bus, i was dreaming and wasting the time away...then i realized something--the world is really unfair to us women. i watched so many superstars on TV and i see the womenfolk always have to torture themselves to be someone, whereas the menfolk hardly have to do anything.

women have to go through plastic on their eyelids, lips, boops, face....you name it. and they have to show the most skin, wear the most uncomfortable shoes, and in hot weather have to keep long hair down and curled as if it were super cold.

they have to wear tonnes of makeup and always have to spend lots of time on dresses and hair...whereas if you see a guy wearing the same things almost everyday no one thinks its very unusual.

our nails have to be perfect, we have to be able to bake cookies and cook and wash and maintain our waistline at the same time....God, this is really unfair!!!!

blood test results...

2008-10-22T03:47:00.000-07:00

so here's the results...........and.................i'm.............................HIV positive!!!!!

heheheh...i'm just kidding lah. i'm alpha thalassaemia positive.

i was rather in the dark when i went to check out my condition, so i decided to google it. and found out a whole lot of bio...(thought i was free of it)

now for a little bit of genetics for all my beloved readers.

the thingy that carries the oxygen in our bodies are the red blood cells. and the thingy that carries the oxygen in the red blood cells are haemoglobin (which is why the red blood cell appears red ^^)

the usual haemoglobin is made by 2 chains--one alpha one beta. normally, a person has inherits haemoglobin A from both parents--they will have TWO usual beta genes (b^b^), one from each parent, and FOUR alpha genes (aa/aa), one pair from each parent.

there are 2 cases: alpha thalassaemia, and beta thalassaemia. mine is alpha. in my case, i did not inherit the normal amount of alpha genes...O.o

worse, there are 2 types of alpha thalassaemia. one is the alpha plus thalassamia trait and one is the alpha zero thalassaemia trait. i have no idea which is mine...zero or plus?? both appear normal you know--confusing ><

so what happens?

because, if my future husband is a carrier like me, we could end up having major problems. its the usual recessive recessive gene and the child comes out with that disease--i guess you who study bio should know.

i'm with the trait...hmmm...

so lets say i have a child with this disorder. what happens to him/her??

well, time to buy insurance then...because if the child does have this disorder, the mother will be at risk during the pregnancy as well. risk as in high chances to die--CHOI...

and the baby would probably not survive either. in fact, to survive would be some miracle.

walauuuu so scary..

tampons...

2008-10-21T10:31:00.000-07:00

today morning i went to mph and looked for the Malaysian book of records for our INTI swimming thing...it seems that i couldn't find it..so i squatted there and flipped the whole book through patiently to no avail. humoh...i must've missed it out or something i dunno??

my guy friend was with me..and i told him about the bad experience with tampons that i had (and i still had a boxful at home--gah). he and i known each other for about almost 7 years already come to think of it, and we're very open with each other.

he said "ok, i'm going to take one back and compare it to...." well, lets just say some things are better left unsaid. in fatc, i should have left it at the compare part...you people obviously know what message i'm trying to convey, so shut up and stop pretending to be innocent.

this morning on the way to jusco, he was taking pictures and driving at the same time. yea--taking pictures of a certain breast elargment ad that seemed to have captivated him. ><

but warning girls..it has to be washed of thoroughly--yes, i mean it. if not, it will stick in you for days and days on end. especially if your red days are here, you will find that your pad has something similar to curry on it. its red, and oily. pity there is no santan smell in the bargain.

another thing--don't use tampons unless you absolutely have to. its unhealthy--don't you feel rather plugged up when you're supposed to be getting rid of the blood (which is rotting) and empty yourself???

so....according to the tampon safety and research act of 1997(cool), women should really really avoid all this stuff, because its toxic to the max (and if it comes from china, it might have melamine?? hehehe i'm just kidding). there are things called dioxins in it, which is the by-product of bleaching it white. all paper stuff had dioxins because of the bleaching process. so thats one minus for tampon.

A 1996 EPA study has also linked dioxin exposure with increased risks for endometriosis, an often painful menstrual-related condition that is a leading cause of infertility. (o.o...scary...)

apparently dioxins are stored in fatty tissues, and most of the vagina is composed of fatty tissues...

and know what pregnant women with high levels of dioxin produce??

i googled it just now and i seen scarier...that was the agent orange thingy in vietnam (WARNING--NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART)

so ladies, still want to go ahead with tampons?? the normal pad will suffice la--you people are not bikini models

writing random stuff...

2008-10-14T06:17:00.000-07:00

i study everyday (i wonder why i even bother to) just to prepare for the entry to UQ. and i don't even know whether i can go there or not. well, yea, they accepted me, and we paid the deposit already. but now thanks (or no thanks) to the financial crisis, with my dad hopping jobs, its a really bad time for all of us. which means, specifically, i might not be able to go aussie after all. which is kinda sad la..considering the deposit already burnt not to mention the application fee...guess how much it was??? the application was 100 aussie and the deposit was 9077 aussie...

which means erm about......ta-da......RM25,000....????!!!!!!!!!

burnt..O.o not to mention the medical checkup. and thanks to a church member (or no thanks,again) me and brother wandered about the whole pudu area just to get my med checkup done. apparently all the grownups were busy and my dad obviously was in indon so no one accompanied me to get the checkup done. so mom hired my brother to "bodyguard" me to pudu area.

so we took a taxi and went there...and a long process la...since i have so much time, i shall elaborate.

thanks for being patient,my bored readers...

so yea, i called tung shin actually before i went. they said they needed the passport and all the crap la just to make the visa for the to-be aussie student. they said they would send it to the embassy straight to get it done.

anyway, i didn't intend to get the med checkup done yet because i had not gotten the CoE from UQ. but mychurch member insisted that it should be done first. and it seems that we could get the normal med checkup done first, later take the report to the embassy to get the visa done.

it never occured to me that there were different sorts of checkups...-.-"

anyway, mom told me to fast. because it seems that to do a normal checkup they needed a blood sample and so to avoid seeming like a diabetic, i had to NOT EAT for 12 hours minimum.

went there really hungry, but tahan a bit la.

and then i was told the checkup was totally different wan. i could not take the results for the regular checkup to the embassy because the aussie student visa checkup was totally different. swt

the lady told me to fax my passport tomorrow because i didn't bring mine. then they said to do the ASV (aussie student visa--i shortened it, tired of typing so long), you needed certain forms. and me and bro walked all over the place (even farther than low yat plaza) just to get a cybercafe and print out those forms. and i had not dared to eat yet...

walked for about 45 minutes approximately (spent 15 minutes in the CC) and got the forms printed. so yea, we headed back to tung shin and there i waited for the checkup to be done. so they needed a urine sample (which was about the most trying time in my humiliating life--i shall not bother to give any details) and they wanted to do the x-ray first.

so i went to the xray department and waited and waited and waited--ahhh finally my turn. and just to get into that hospital thingy...i felt really weird because it was like wearing nothing but a blue cloth in public. crap--i hate checkups. kena marah by doctor because tak bawa passport...omg nothing can get worse.

but it just did.

so i waited more for the actual checkup...by which time i had already waited 3 hours just to get the xray and urine sample done. humph!

anyway, went in to get my weight and height--i was 45kg (still same weight since i was form 3 O.o---i must have been a midget) and 156 cm (even more of a midget)

and the other doctor that did my checkup was a singh who spoke to me in cantonese (how weird can the day get???)....and that feller told me no blood sample needed. omg--i fasted for NOTHING?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i was on the verge of fainting---i walked about the whole morning, and had nothing to eat for about 17 hours now...

so i asked the doctor to check for hepatitis immunity, because it seems that my brother, with all the jabs and everything, did not seem to develope the antibody.O.o...and i had to do another test...i had to check for thalassaemia (was that spelt correctly??...yes it was). my father and grandmother on my mom's side both are carriers...i remember mr tai said that he had it too when he went for some checkup. and he said one person in this class will have it. well, yea, that person is the unlucky me...

so in order to check for some things in my blood, i had to give 3 tubes of it. crap--and i was already feeling dizzy...i never had enough blood anyway...but good thing i was so sleepy that the doctor jabbed me and i just gave the blood, too tired to feel anything.

i had fasted for 18 hours now...for nothing...???!!!!!!!!! was so pissed off man...

the first thing i did after getting everything done was to EATTTT...even then oso my gastric problem settled in...and i could not feel like eating at all. crap.

went back and ate a bit more, and just to relieve myself i went to DOTAAAAAAAAAAA....felt much better after killing people i dunno why. or killing things. or whatsoever.

mom came back late with lunch--omg this day was like crap. not to mention i spent a sleepless night the previous day because i was worrying about the sharemarket (which means my place in UQ)...i so don't want to do my degree locally!!

lalala...

2008-09-24T19:18:00.000-07:00

online crapping again...okay, here i go randomly putting junk and filling up multiply O.o...

been dota-ing this morning...tried mirana and razor. mirana is so cool. but i'm going to crap more about razor.

so yea, it was a nice 3 on 3 game with the AI--please, i am not so silly to go GG because because i not only will feed the opponents--i will oso make my teammates swear. so to prevent them from sinning, i stayed away from garena for a while.

so i walked out to the middle lane and started farming, farming, farming...crap la so slow...oh goodness where is pudge...*our brethren's tower is under attack*....eh where is balanar??? *our brethren's tower is under attack!!* (I KNOW LAAAA NO NEED KEEP SAYING)...

and suddenly, all 3 heroes came at me...first mirana then enchantress then rikimaru....O.o where are my stupid allies!!!!!!!!

and then................................i discovered them sitting on the frozen throne, walking around doing nothing!!!! what on earth...

by the time i recovered from my anger, i already was dead and waiting to revive at the altar. okayyy...so i waited and then went back, by which time they had already blasted to our second tower. humph!!

and both balanar and pudge came out gracefully. but of course, they could not hold against riki because he is so invisible--THIS IS UNFAIR!!!--and kena pawned. by which time i had already gotten the maelstrom so it wasn't so bad--anyway sentinels all had to go back because all oso life low already.

farming farming farming sumore...

and then i got my butterfly. pushed all the way until their 3rd tower. and guess what--my 2 allies were nicely sitting on the throne again!! wahh so marah--by which time rikimaru was becoming a nuisance so i was forced to waste a slot on a gem.

and i was heavily trying to push push push....alright 3rd tower down...but then they all sitting still at the throne doing nothing!! so i tried an experiment..i waited at my own tower until all the sentinel came. and THEN only pudge and balanar came garcefully out. *ahhh fresh meat* then terus stealth assassain pwned butcher's head alamakkkkkkkk what on earth

useless allies. but in the end nobody won you know why??? computer crashed

WHY am i crapping here...?????

liwei starting to talk more and more nonsense

random entry--trying to keep my brain working before i rot to bits

2008-09-05T22:24:00.000-07:00

well, the thing about staying at home i cannot stand the silence here. so, that means everyday i make noise just to keep myself from going insane. i know this sounds insane, but everyday i am already starting to pack for my aussie trip. i started making lists about which baju to bring etc etc already....walauuuu

anyway, every single day i clear up my room and throw plenty of stuff away--or give plenty of stuff away. the amount of clothes i have--pathetic. i'm starting to be like mei ling already--sleeping clothes THIS HIGH and go out clothes this high...-.-"

besides, i think i might be getting a bit lonely because the moment i wake up i start talking to myself adui. and i recall going downstairs and blasting the subwoofer with kung fu panda soundtracks...and then later on going upstairs and turning my handphone on. meaning 2 music going at one go...go upstairs oso got music, go downstairs oso got music. what a noisy house. ><

well, i suppose my neighbours must also be going crazy..especially those that stay next door. every single day i practice jay chou's secret and dou qin on my beloved piano--and i am rather a perfectionist, so everyday they hear the same thing over and over again. i admit, playing the piano is an addiction. so they suffer 3 times a day...morning after breakfast one dose of irritation; afternoon after lunch a second dose, and later at night a third. XD poor things--no wonder i see very little of them nowadays--they must have gone out to escape the noise. and my opposite neighbour who opens tuition--God Bless the students la. everyday sit in the class for an hour being annoyed incessantly with dou qin...peace be with their tortured souls

haihhh...gtg...need to practice driving...and then can drive my dad's car! whatever car i get--can drive can already--and does not blow up can already

Passion KL

2008-08-04T08:39:00.000-07:00

i just attended Passion yesterday night. it was really awesome. its amazing how God can love people like you and me, regardless of what we did and what we are going to do.

i was concerned about one thing though...we might be all fired up and "holy" for a while after that, but when the emotions fade away, commitment is all that's left. and that's the hardest part. we as humans don't always stay committed to our real love. we tend to drop into the mundane flow of everyday sins and hurt God like we always have done.

i keep telling myself that this is going to change. after every conference, or event, or revival, i always say that its about to change. i'm not going to let dying emotions draw me away from God. then i realized that there's nothing wrong to feel this way. i can't always love God with the very very emotional feeling like when i'm in a concert. see, i learnt this through david. no--he didn't tell me anything, i guess God revealed a lot of things about me and Him through me and david.

when i and david manage to get together, to see each other, to hug each other and hold each other's hands, we simply don't think of anything else but each other. we don't worry about what we have done in the past to hurt each other; we don't think about in the future whether we will really be together or not. we simply enjoy each other for that precious moment.

so it is the same with God. when in that concert, it is like me and God are out on a date. we don't think about anything else but love for each other at the moment. we put judgements and pride aside--or any other distraction. last time, i felt that i was jumping and dancing too much. i felt that i was not exactly praising God--i was only enjoying the music. but i remember last time when david and i just started, we were in the car and he liked the turn mp3 on when we were talking or doing nothing but simply holding each other's hands. we thought only about the music and the words...then i realized that it was nothing wrong to enjoy the music since every word i sing i mean it. its not wrong to dance with God or even simply enjoy myself with God--because that's what lovers do!!

i tried to find how to email louie--by the way if anyone knows louie giglio's email, can you let me know??

but when other days come--i don't feel very very passionate about david or miss him insanely like i sometimes do. again, the same thing--i can't feel passionate about God all the time--meaning emotion-wise. now i don't have to feel so guilty after all. its not wrong to feel the emotions fading away--duhh we are humans after all--but then the same commitment that holds me and david together taught me the thing i should do with God. He is showing me so many things through david!! just like the same way i yearn to hear david everyday on the phone at least 5 minutes (international calls are expensive after all), i should yearn to hear from God, or just sit in his presence. there are times when God does not talk to us through the Bible or even through music. sometimes he talks to us through silence.

i remember there was this one time that i felt God was smiling at me. i really could see him smiling at me. i remember there were times xiu mei used to make my day by simply leaving chocolates or sweets on the door knob of my room (she didn't say she put it there but i know its her). so that night God was doing the same thing. there was no occasion--he simply wanted to drop me a little gift that would make me happy and sure that he loved me.

it was an average night like every night, i remember. then at night i suddenly woke up. i wanted to got to the bathroom. then, in the middle of the floor, there was a HUGE pool of moonlight!! the moon was so bright and so huge--and there was actually this large pool of such beautiful light spilling in on the floor. it was glistening i tell you--it was really really awesome. this incident happened years ago--but i will remember it to this day. and God has left me many many more gifts--whether big or small--and each one always made my day.

if you are a non christian and you are reading about this, let me share some of the love and joy i found in God, and i guarantee that nothing else on earth satisfies as much as He does.

people always think they have to do something to get back to God. the fact is, they can't no matter what they do--it's just an illusion. but since God is holy and we are definitely not, there is a gap between us. but God is a Father, and how does a father love?? so God says "I am going to bridge the gap between you and Me."

a lot of people think then, why doesn't God simply just forgive, since He loves so much?? but the answer i think is this--because you forget that God is HOLY and He cannot tolerate sin. He is everything but sin!! so forgiving everyone would be unfair. and we would not appreciate it. let's just say there are 2 people, A and B. A is the righteous, upright kind of person and B is the rule-breaker kind of person. so if God merely forgave A and B together, would that be fair to A?? A can always say, "why do i have to be so good then??" and God is a fair and just God.

so God takes both A and B's punishment away (that's why the Bible says "he who has been forgiven little loves little, but he who has been forgiven much loves much--because A had not very much punishment and B has tonnes) and puts it on jesus. that is why jesus had to die on the cross and suffer the way he did. if he had not, we are the ones that would have to bear the punishment.

God loves us so much i cannot understand. He has done so many miracles i never thought was possible--there are some times i cannot believe that He actually grants me dreams that come true and things that come true are bigger than my dreams--and my dreams are already huge!!!! God is just so beautiful to me--He makes my life worth living. every day i have something to look forward to...and my life has a meaning--a purpose. to share His wonderful love with everyone.

trust me, God loves you whether regardless of what you have done. there's nothing to prove. you may not understand WHY he loves you, but you understand HOW He loves you that's enough (He sent His only son to die that cruel death just for the sake of your punishment--and i bet that time you didn't even know about Him yet). He already gave you such a wonderful gift (because if Jesus didn't die, how are we sinners going to go to heaven??)--what else more can you ask for??

He loves you so much that He is willing give something so precious just so we can spend eternity with Him!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i can type and type forever exclaiming God's awesome and amazing love--so much so i cry just thinking about it. I'm so in love with Him!!!

gtg...mom needs me to talk to tonight. she is having a lot of emotional problems too...you who are reading this, whoever you are, may God bless you and i will be praying for you!!! God is nearer than you think--He's just outside the door of your heart, knocking, asking for you to give Him a chance to love you. He's not asking for anything but for a chance to love you!!! isn't that just awesome!!!!!

frustrating times

2008-07-26T06:15:00.000-07:00

there are times when i really really miss INTI...cannot tahan la at home...i feel so so so lonely and left out when i see pictures of people who are still in INTI. when i saw the CF closing ceremony photos, i felt like so so so miss INTI. dunno why--like i no longer belong to INTI (which is, in a way, very true)

thats one thing about me that i have been struggling with, and that is change. i hate change. sometimes, there are certain things which until now i have not learnt to let go yet--but the thing is when will i ever learn?? in my mind, i just realized that i have this feeling that i still belong to INTI and it just does not occur to me that INTI life will now only be a beautiful memory forever. i just cannot accept the fact that INTI days are now over...and when i step into my new class i just find my new classmates very very hard to accept. i don't think they can accept me either...they look at me like they have never seen a human before (like i said and will always maintain).

only one girl so far has smiled at me of her own accord--i like her. she seems very friendly and open...so far thats the only one. and she's a new girl at that--admire her friendliness--wish i could do that sometimes--but my friendliness depends on mood wan hahaha

i wish campus days would soon come--now i having trouble trying to find the right uni. i'm forgetting melbourne for the time being--probably UNSW la. see jared there lol

trying to find out whats the best thing to do during the hols...gtg my mom wants to use the comp dammit

byez

someone no more menganggur...

2008-07-23T07:42:00.001-07:00

hey i'm glad mannn--david finally found a proper job and i think it is very very good that he actually managed to find one, with the pay he demanded and in singapore too!!! God has been good...

and i think that with all his experience and the way he handles things, david should have no problem at all settling in his new job, even if it IS in singapore...i have complete confidence in him.

and the thing is, i trust him even with distance. i hope my trust is not in vain--but i should think my trust is very very well placed. only thing is--i am so going to miss him...

i miss everyone at INTI too..INTI life is just--amazing--i will never ever forget it--ever. it was the most beautiful times of my life. especially towards the end where i got closer with my CG members and sophia and meiling and also my other classmates---things were just beautiful

and i met david there!! i can't believe i am flying off so soon--headache only--wish things were easier for us but i guess there are times when love must be tough. well...all things work for good for those who trust in him.

both mom and dad completed their Masters and PhD respectively--my dad is now Dr. Liew haahaa--but don't trust him--he doctor for plants only wan

greedy people

2008-07-11T21:50:00.000-07:00

i won't say for certain which people are greedy, but i do know when i went for my undang test for driving, almost all the people with whom i sat failed the test. and i can't believe it--i actually failed my undang test--which people tell me no need to study also can pass??? and the maddening thing is, i studied!!! and even with studying...also cannot pass..???

it was a saturday when i took my test...

and that means, if i want a resit (sure i need a resit), i have to sit for it on another day for double the price...which is insane.

that can only mean, some people are just out to take my money--along with all my other friends' too. how difficult can it get--i mean, people are passing like nothing man...and why we all fail--and must be saturday??

only people who fail on saturday have to pay extra for a resit because they are resitting on another day ma...

greedy people!! i hate the way n..... s....... is run...everything is so corrupted....

no, i am not blaming people just because i failed ok?? if i alone fail (which may seem strange enough) maybe there's something wrong with me. but if everyone fails...???

means more money for a certain someone's pocket la

i am not mentioning names--goodness knows what this country would do to me if i did mention names. humph!! can't even be open in a democratic place--some sort of democracy this is.

tension handling...

2008-06-26T05:16:00.000-07:00

after watching so many movies at one go, my eyes suddenly feel as if they are popping out. and later going to watch movies again!!! phew...

what to do--have to break after a long long semester of exams and stress and emotional training and physical training too...

got to get rid of my tummy--otherwise how am i going to go my college prom night wearing the perfect new dress that i just bought!!! to me--i mean, its perfect. and at the same time, perfectly priced--it was only 90 bucks when i bought it (on sales) when it was supposed to be 130 bucks

now got to think of a perfect hairdo--i am so perfectionist adui. sure la--i pay so much for the dress and makeup and accessories and blah blah blah...what did you expect??

oh yea--by the way i need a bag to carry all my stuff in and i haven't found one yet...oh no what am i to do...why didn't i think of this before...???

i must have lost my mind...ranting about prom preparation here in a blog...sheeshh

back to the more serious stuff now..

have finished my exams and yea, i need a break desperately--and here come some additional short courses that my mom enrolled me in and oh mannnnn there is tonnes of homework. i actually sit down and do it--i can't believe how crazy i am. and its accounts!! and the thing about me and accounts is--we don't balance. not at all

got an awful pimple on my face--i dun mind how it looks but it hurts me and irritates like mad

can't wait to drive!!!! learning my licence now..hope i can pass--if not here comes the same sick cycle again...

back to a taxing, normal life

2008-03-10T08:40:00.000-07:00

things are getting more and more taxing here...for the fact that mock exam is merely 3 weeks away, and lecturers are speeding faster and faster on their syllabus...making the students all panic. and therefore, life is stressful--especially the fact that this is IT--no more resits if possible!!!

scary...

today, i re-learnt a simple thing--God will provide. see, the previous night, it was very very cold and my roommate apparently didn't feel anything (she turned the fan on until number 4 XD) and so when i woke up, i was like something just take out of the fridge...and i needed the hot water. see, i wake up at the time other people wake up. so the bathroom was jam packed. and yea, all the hot water cubicles were taken up. sad.

so in the end, i started the day by brushing my teeth first (that shows i am a very clean person XD) and yea, i suddenly got a conviction that God would provide for me a bathroom with the hot water. so i calmly brushed and by the time i finished, exactly someone came out of the cubicle (which is a very rare thing--you know how long girls take to bathe). and so happen no one wanted to use it. so yea, i didn't trust God enough and i rushed in to "book" it first before people take away my chance to defrost myself.

heheheh

it may sound funny, but it does make sense right?? God knows what you need , and if He doesn't have any plans up His sleeves, He'll give it to you!! hahaha

gtg...stop crapping and preaching at the same time....byebye

bad week

2008-02-29T17:51:00.000-08:00

ok lemme start from the start hahah

last week, i started swimming for the 120 hours non stop swim for m'sian book of records. my schedule was ok la but a day before that, i fell sick with a high fever. but i still swam.and so when i went to class, i was confused, blur and all due to the cough medicine (antihistamine ma, what to expect). so i am very very far behind in studies--because to study, have to be alert ALL THE TIME if not cannot learn anything. so i very very bad mood ad. then suddenly period came and then still need to swim...i was cursing ad. so i needed to use tampons. and heavy flow supposed to use regular tampon. but cannot CANNOT go in!!! and go in halfway cannot come out--so so so painful!!!

anyway, in the end i use the mini one (go in can, but go out still very very painful). it was so funny. needed to buy the lubricant to help it slide in--so i asked david to teman me.and had to buy durex brand "play" sumore--so embarrassing....and the cashier looked at me, then she looked at david, then she didn't say anything but just clicked the bar code thing XD .

i decided to practice using it to go class, so by faith (and by stupidity) i didn't wear the usual pad. suddenly (i still sick ma) i sneezed and everything came out!!!! so bad man...

luckily in the pool nothing leaked...if not the pool turn to red sea only. sigh....

then after a tiring week, need to go CF camp (already not enough sleep, and losing blood) camp was so so so tiring. and during camp pulak david and i quarrel. how to argue properly bcoz so many human there!!!

the whole week was very very bad for me...and sumore my physical condition was terrible. very high fever until i thought ok ad the doctor still say got...haizzz

but this week's been much much better yea...i admit there's still been stress (a bit on the hard side) but i know God is on my side!!

be still

2008-02-25T17:41:00.000-08:00

there is no feeling like peace in your heart even though you know that the entire place around is in turmoil. but peace is not like what we think. the real, inner peace is one that lasts forever and yea, it cannot be taken away no matter what

i had this chance to share about God to some people at camp--specifically, vui feng and jack. i feel that the harvest was put right in front of my eyes, and that i had the sickle right in my hand. i was so so so glad!!! i can't imagine that i had this GOLDEN opportunity to just share joy and love to them. there was so much in me that couldn't come out though--i wasn't prepared to face the challenges.

but now as i look back, i have no regrets saying the things i said, so meaning next time i will be more prepared to share. just want to thank the Lord for giving me a chance to grow.

me at home alone...

2008-02-04T18:20:00.000-08:00

now that i have the chance to crap, i shall crap away. well, seems like forever being at home alone. and i have (honestly speaking) no mood to study at all. but if people were to do everything according to mood alone what a terrible place this world would be. it is terrible enough as it is.

recently i have evolved from the triassic age to the jurassic age...and then to the cretaceous age...means i have started to update myself la. besides learning how to use custom CSS (pai seh, now only learn), how to use the functions on my new k770i, i have just learnt how to play DotA. (!!!) of course, every first timer is unmercifully slaughtered and so was i. but the good thing is, i have learnt it and that is most important. at least managed to play until level 15 before mom hounded me out of the comp room saying there were better things than DotA to do in this world.

i miss life at INTI...although i do admit it is boring without anything to do, i have to say it's better than being stuck at home without a driver's liscence because there is the common room to go to where i can do my work calmly and peacefully without anybody disturbing, especially the block G common room at the back. the front one can be a bit too noisy sometimes.

i have only the week to complete my revision, and i admit the schedule i set for myself looks impossible. i always make the mistake of setting myself impossible goals...liwei never learns.

i'm going to try and resit physics and chemistry AS...for the A that i'm aiming for. not even a strong B will pacify me...this is the spirit of "kiasu-ism" in me...goodness i hope i will not be like a singaporean. face it, people, you are kiasu. no explanation needed. but being kiasu is a good thing, you know?? at least your country developes like way ahead of ours. poor malaysians, i don't want to hint anything about our head people but i have to say there must be something dreadfully wrong with the way this country is run. if not why are we still stuck in with the name 3rd world?? sure must be something wrong--only you people don't want to face it. and you run away from the truth. when the truth is brought out, then you people stop it in the bud. so what can i say??

ohh yay the cleaning lady finished her work upstairs already...so i can now settle to a quiet round of chemistry...better than crapping all day in this dreary room trying to keep awake by talking more and more nonsense.

byebye

weeeeeeeeeeee....

2007-11-21T17:55:00.000-08:00

exams finally over...for this semester. going back soon to another chore..becoming the "siti" of the house. i guess when i get back i want to do a dozen things first...like clean up the house and all. done it before and doing it again...it's amazing how things get dusty so fast. but i want them SQUEAKY CLEAN hahaha...

it's a long time since i was this crazy about being clean. last time, i couldn't bear a single bit of dust. i guess i get it from my grandma...she also can't stand any dirt. even if something is crooked slightly she'll straighten it. but my grandma is less a perfectionist than my aunt (on my mom's side). i think i take after her more than my mom..i dunno why.i got the same short temper, the same passion for drawing...and even got more similar looks from her than mom hahaha. both of us can't bear dirt or dust or whatsoever...and then............i changed. now, i still like being really clean but not to the point of perfectionism. last time i used to vacuum the room every single day (my room was the only place i could clean, anyway...they wouldn't let me touch any where else), wipe the furniture and clear the cupboards once every few days. phewwwww...

now i can't vacuum but i still wipe the floor every day (who can blame me...when i comb my hair falls all over the floor and i can't stand it). mop and clear the wardrobes once a week (which is very reasonable)...agreed???

but when i get back and see the dust (i can't blame my mom--she got far too much to do already, working and studying and marking papers at the same time adui) i warn you i'm going to get itchy. that's when the frenzy comes in. only thing is i hope i have enough stamina to clear everything up hahaha

anywayz got to go...my room is cleaner than clean and i feel so nice just looking at it. cleaning up is so addictive when you have the leisure and the energy hahah

2007-11-14T21:38:00.000-08:00

Candy Bar Dolls

just randomly put a "doll" on my silly site cause i got no other better work to do...just finished physics and feel so so so tired....david's bday today....cannot scold him, pinch him or hit him today.....woww suffer hahaha.... newayz gtg sleep afterwards wan play badminton with classmates hahaha

examz almost done...

2007-11-14T13:53:00.000-08:00

i'm crapping away because my exams are almost done...tomorrow david's b'day...still thinking how to make it special for him. seriously, i need some ideas...i dun reli watch movies so i absolutely no idea on how to make occasions seem different and sometimes the way i do things arr...when i look back i want to laugh and hit myself at the same time

anyway, physics paper also tomorrow...paper II sumore haiz...exam at 8.45am....at least that is not so bad like bio paper II!!! it is at 4 in the evening!!! which insane person set the timetable i wonder..putting chem and physics together sumore. smack him/her.

feeling so dreadfully tired...i don't want to sleep but i have to if not study cannot concentrate already.

recently started using friendster...feeling so new to it and trying to learn...multiply was much easier hahaha--for a dinosaur like me, i'll admit la.

arrrr...the mosquitoe bit my under the arm...so i'm scratching like a monkey--you know how the monkey action is like???you scratch your underarms--and feeling more and more funny.

INTI is now full of mosquitoes..they never fog the place for like how long already, now whenever i go common room sure got at least one or two mosquitoes flying about and sucking my blood. it's like every time i go to common room and study (or even if i study in my room) i'll be donating blood.

just read david's blog...woooo very very deep. too serious already...i almost feel scared myself

the cacat-ed water dispenser in the pantry is giving me blood pressure. now i have to borrow my roommate's electrical flask to boil hot water sheeesh..why is INTI giving us cacat-ed stuff??? sad to say, the girls here also one kind. how many girls in one floor??? all also using the same water dispenser, same toilets...and i have to be the one to 'ma fan' myself just to complain to A.O. and A.O. also one kind. promise promise a bit and den send worker to repair...worker never do anything!!! i no time to complain lahh..as long as i got toilet to use and got hot water can already. the rest of the girls...aaahhhh your buseiness la i malas already. i also too busy anyway.

by the way my roommate is one of the most ultimate nerds i've seen. their class actually DO stats homework!!!! such an amazing encounter...i almost got stroke last night seeing her whip out the calculator and doing stats...and she asked me how to do sumore!!! phewwwww...i could help her in all but one la.

did my revision in block G common room and chatted with the guard there...seems like she knows almost everybody wow...sure la she work there 8 years already. i describe david also she knows...she said "last time live in block C wan ma, then pindah out and then after that stay in block F" walauweh--she remember every single student. being a guard must have bored her to such a degree she started to find something else to do hahahah

anyway gtg sleep a bit...my head is aching from too much things this morning...

dad going already

2007-10-29T18:42:00.000-07:00

he's going on 1st nov to perth, then to christmas island, then to bali and dunno where else. he'll be back for a while to go hols, and then next year he'll be off permanently for 3 years. it seems such a long time...

dad's been learning how to use msn. mom scolded him for being naughty. instead of doing his thesis like he should, he was busy chatting with me wahahahahaha

dad's got his own msn address now...and he nicknamed me "piggy"!!! can you imagine that!!!

i told him not to come back from perth if he wants to live but he said he'll bring peace offering hahahah

ok class now...gtg...byebye

my personality traits and temperaments...

2007-10-21T03:00:00.000-07:00

here's my personality--i'm a sanguine-melancholic

The San-Mel:

san-mels are highly emotional creatures who fluctuate drastically. they can laugh hysterically one moment and burst into tears the next. it is almost impossible for them to hear a sad tale, observe the tragic plight of another person, or listen to melancholy music without weeping profusely. they genuinely feel the griefs of others. san-mel doctors, for instance, always display the best bedside manners. ordinarily they make fantastic instructors, teachers and college professors--and are easily the most popular instructors on campus. almost any field is open to them, especially public speaking, acting, music and fine arts. however, san-mels reflect and unhibited perfectionalism that often alienates them from others because they verbalize their criticisms. they are usually people-orientated individuals who have sufficient substance to make a contribution to other lives--if their egos and arrogance don't make them too obnoxious that others become hostile to them.

one of the crucial weaknesses of this temperament blend prevails in his thought life. both sanguines and melancholics are dreamers, and thus if the melancholy part of hs nature suggests a negative train of thought, it can nullify the san-mel's potential. it is easy for him to get down on himself. in addition, this person, more than most others, will have both an anger problem and a tendency towards fear. both temperaments in his makeup are prone to insecurity; not uncommonly, the san-mel is afraid to utilize his potential. such a person should always work with people. being admired by others is so important to him that it will drive him to a consistent level of performance. of all sanguine public speakers, the san-mel will be most accurate in his statistics and organized in his presentation. he has a great ability to commue with God, and if he walks in the Spirit, he will make an effective servant of Christ.

King David is the biblical classic example of a san-mel. an extremely likeable man who attracted both men and women (charisma), he was colorful, dramatic, emotional and weak-willed. he could play a harp and sing, he clearly demonstrated a poetic intinct in his psalms, and he made decisions on impulse. unfortunately, like many san-mels, he fouled up his life by a series of disastrous and costly mistakes before he gained enough self-discipline to finish out his destiny. not all san-mels, of course, are able to pick up pieces of their life and start all over again. it is better for them to walk daily in the Spirit and avoid such mistakes.

hmmmmm

2007-10-14T04:20:00.000-07:00

feeling gan jiong because i'm waiting for dinner time to come--i always get so hungry and even when i eat, sometimes i eat like an entire army. david said i have worms (humph)

now waiting for the barley to get boiled nicely--not adding gingko or other stuff because i got lazy. just want to make something sweet to drink. i made kesari (some red indian cake) last week and the whole room smelt of butter, but it turned out OK. david said not nice pfffftt (comfirm he doesn't like indian cake)

oh well

exams coming up--why am i still experimenting with the cooking pot--oh yea by the way next time if i get the chance i will certainly try making the honeydew sago ad...but the sago, because i had no sifter, became all clumped together and the taste was funny. originally the honeydew drink was OK but after adding the sago---phewwww--tasted just weird

i admit i am not much of a cook but better do some experiments now than suffer later (having people laugh at me) because i am the cause of food poisoning in the area. hahaha

went to my dad's colleagues' raya open house and ate hot stuff like nobody's business...i didn't know so happened that day i worked up a mood for hot stuff--and i ate what the malays couldn't eat (they said the sambal sotong was fierce--and i ate like a plateful of it without realizing)

walauuuu

but after that i paid the price for being greedy lah--see i can;t eat hot stuff so when i do, my stomach will suffer. dad said i'm a pig

having trouble with brother--being rebellious like i was when i was his age. i'm sorry i said the things that i said to him. originally, all i wanted to do was correct him but i realized that some of the things that i said, and when i looked back at my own lifestyle, was very much worse than he. i spent the whole night having nightmares because that night God was trying very very hard to say something to me. the way i read my Bible is this--i randomly flip and there he will answer me. sometimes when i have a question i just flip open and ta-da there the answer is. sometimes also when i flip, i realize that i keep coming to the same issue or subject, so i better take a closer look and try to see what He is trying to tell me.

and that night, i kept flipping to the part where Jesus was talking about pharisees and saducees and scribes and all the important jews. and i realized something-- i was like a pharisee. whitewashed tomb, with dead man's bones inside. i realized as much as i appeared "holy" and "good" to people, i am hiding many things (i know myself) inside which people don't know that i am guilty of doing. so what right have i to correct my brother? when i am a worse sinner myself? at least when he sins he doesn't care the whole world knows but when i sin, i am afraid to confess and even afraid to face it. this is a battle for me.

the next day i was trying very very very hard not to judge, but i can tell you it is not easy. i had to pray so many many times just saying "God, i am no judge and i'm a worse sinner"...and then i would concentrate on worship, and suddenly i start to criticize inwardly. it's very hard for me to stop judging people when i know myself that i am worse. rebukes are fine--if done with the right attitude. but sometimes when you rebuke with a feeling that "this guy--really ar--can't he see that what he's doing now is...?????" and then you really have to stop and check yourself. many many times we think we rebuke in love (we really feel that is the case) but seriously speaking, we aren't. so think about things very very carefully before you say anything about anyone.

i am guilty of judging people myself so i shall stop nagging--just to remember what happened so when i read back my blog, i get to be reminded (people forget fast--especially me)

ok...barley ready...byebye